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Just Me and my Shadow

Monday, February 04, 2013

Better be alone than in bad company." Thomas Fuller

I had breaks with the same bunch of girls for years. In the beginning we used to laugh a lot , talk about many things ,not much work, and recipes. One of the girls found out she couldn't have kids so we rallied around her. We were less reluctant to talk about our kids . As time went on she became more bitter and negative. We would try to cheer her to steer the conversation in another direction but she would have none of it.

A couple of years ago she got a dog and seemed much happier. But every time I tried to tell her how my son got an A. She would interrupt me with the dogs bathroom schedule , where she walked him how long etc. She would ask did you watch this show, it wouldn't matter if the answer was yes or no. She would tell us every thing that happened on the cake decorating show or ax men. We couldn't get a word in.

Then she bought a camper for nascar shows and camping, we would hear three months in advance that she was going on vacation. Then we would hear about what she was going to bring in detail , including food and what she planned to do. When she got back we would hear it all again.

This began to drive me insane I started to hate to go to break. I would show up later but she would just stay later. If I went to break earlier she would find out. I was driving my family crazy with my complaints. One day my husband said It looks like Cathy is ruining all your days and I am sick of hearing it.

So one day I just blew up at her and told her I was sick of hearing about her darn dog and I wanted to have some fun in my life. Wrong way to go about the situation but the right thing to do was to make a break. So now I go to break alone. Just me myself and I . I go when I want, I don't have to listen about stupid shows or a stupid dog 24-7. I read my book am calm and reflect and my family has noticed a big difference in me also.

My husband and kids found out that I am more positive and less stressed. So if you find yourself being held hostage by a negative ninnie , Or if shackled to all about me , Betsey , step away get some fresh air and live the good life. Your physical and mental health depend on it. Hugs.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JACKIE542
    Good for you, I was always too afraid to say anything, so I would sneak away somewhere else when I encountered people like this. emoticon
    1841 days ago
    Way to set healthy boundaries. Taking care of our self is the first priority before we can help others. relationships are to be give and take. Good job!
    1841 days ago
    It's always good to set boundaries and that's just what you did. Sometimes the most efficient way to do it is just be direct and say it like you see it. I'm not sure why your coworker would think everyone would be so very interested in her dog and camping trips, but perhaps she is young or just doesn't get out much. I know someone who will go on for hours about herself, but the moment I attempt to say one thing about my life she automatically tunes out. I actually feel sorry for her. People like that don't have much to them. It's sad. In any case, I agree with you- it is better to be by yourself than be with someone you don't like.
    1841 days ago
    Wow. That must have been such a hard thing to do. I am glad you are at peace on your breaks.
    1842 days ago
    right on. I have spent many breaks alone to avoid the drama
    1842 days ago
    It's always good to make a break from something or someone that has a negative influence on your mood and life. some people are just negative about everything and hard to be around. So unless they change their behavior you just have to get away from it to save your own peace of mind.
    1842 days ago
  • NEWMEN2013
    Have a very similar story with a girl that I considered one of my best friends. I'm sad that things came to this level with her but, like you, I can admit that my life is more peaceful without her negativity and self-centeredness. Sometimes it's lonely but mostly it's for the best.
    I'm sure you would have liked to handle this without a blow up but when pushed to a wall, what else can you do? Glad you AND YOUR FAMILY are enjoying your more upbeat personna.
    1842 days ago
    I love that quote and have lived by that philosophy all my life. Have a happy day.
    1842 days ago
    1842 days ago
    A shame your friendship hasn't lasted the test of time, but that happens!
    We grow in different directions and have different interest and then was amusing becomes just darned annoying and distructive.

    Great insight once again Joanne emoticon emoticon
    1842 days ago
    You did the right thing be removing yourself
    from this situation. Some may say you should
    have held your temper but it seems that no
    amount of sweet-talking would have gotten
    her attention anyway. Enjoy the peace and
    quiet. Maybe someday, she will change. For
    now, you are in great company-yours!
    1842 days ago
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