Monday, February 04, 2013
Embracing my bodyÖ
This blog is going to be somewhat deep, but please read so you can understand the lesson in self-love that I received tonight.
After watching the rest of the super bowl with my hubby Ėsomething I never really cared for, but I am the half time show person. I love watching that, and after the half time show, I get up and get ready for my shower. My husband is still sitting in his chair with his hands up in the air happy as all get out, as I start getting ready for a nice relaxing hot shower.
Iíve noticed my body before, but Iíve never noticed it in this light. I like what I see. No! I donít like what I see, I love what I see. I started to notice me. ME! Not this ďfatĒ but me as a woman. I noticed my curves, my skin, and all the flaws in my skin and this skin I am in is me. I noticed how small my waist has gotten, and the shift in weight. The weight in my thighs and the weight in my behind Ėeverything is heading south. No big deal, Iíll firm that up somehow, but I noticed the shift.
Iím looking at myself in full view. I see myself, and I donít see this ďfatĒ. I see me. I donít see fat or feel fat. I feel great! Iím alive, well, and blessed and thatís all I see. I flash back to 2011 the tail end before 2012 begin. I saw a ďfatĒ person and I would never really stand in the mirror and look at myself. When you see yourself one way off and on for years, you begin to only see that person Ėthe fat one youíre trying to get rid of.
But I didnít see her. I even looked behind me to see if I saw her peeking over my shoulder, but I didnít see good oleí fat Lynn. I saw this healthy, young beautiful woman looking back at me, and guess what. She was smiling. Where was the frown, and where did this smile come from?
I look at myself one more time, and then I step into the shower. I was happy to see me for who I was on the inside more so than what I saw on the outside, but what I saw on the outside tonight was a soulful reflection of the woman Iím now becoming and not the woman I once was.
I saw no fear, and I didnít hide, cry, or get mad at what I saw reflecting back at me. I saw me.
I didnít get upset because of this little pouch hanging.
I didnít force my husband out of the bathroom when he saw me admiring myself in the mirror. I just looked at him and smiled. One of those chest grins. Thatís what I gave him. A chest grin! And I let out this cute little laugh.
Iím proud of myself for seeing me, and I donít feel bad about what I see.
If you would have asked me how I felt about my body a year ago, I wouldnít have words like this to share.
I hated my body, I hated the image, and I hated how I felt in my skin.
Now! I love my body, I love myself, and I love how I feel in this skin.
It's somewhat funny, but it's a blessing to see only me for who I am, and not this fat shell.
Thanks for reading my Self-love update.