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Approaching a barrier and ready to knock it down

Sunday, February 03, 2013

This week as I approach my goal of getting to 50 pounds lost, I stop and wonder for a moment what comes next.

I’ve already written about my plans to charge ahead towards my next big goal of losing another 50 pounds, and also about changing the way I do things up a bit, but I haven’t yet taken a moment to look at what reaching this milestone means.

I’ve been at my goal weight before, 332 pounds. It was only just a few years ago, and I remember it well. I wasn’t happy with my body.

It wasn’t that I hated it per say, but I did hate that my weight seemed out of control. I didn’t like looking at pictures of myself and I avoided looking in the mirror too much because I didn’t want to face the reality of what I had become.

It was at that weight that I had started a previous weight-loss effort, walking every day, occasionally doing Tae Bo and doing as much other activities as I could fit into my day.

I hadn’t heard of SparkPeople then, although I wish I had. I had the right idea at the time, I knew I had to track what I was doing, so I used a spread sheet on my laptop which is now archaic and has since found a new home, although I’d be surprised if it was still being used.

On it I logged what I ate for each meal. I didn’t really change what I ate though, I wasn’t eating that bad, but then I had someone cooking for me, so I didn’t really think that much about food preparation and planning.

I also logged my exercise. I was doing then much of what I am doing now, only I have to admit I like the SparkPeople setup a lot better.

I logged my weight and did line graphs occasionally to see my progress. It was nice to look at. The system worked well and I did lose some weight.

However, a change in environment led me to stop doing what I was doing because it was too inconvenient it seemed and I thought I was too busy. At that point I had almost lost enough to get back in the 200s, but I didn’t quite make it. I think I had lost about 30-31 pounds or so.

It was a short-lived weight loss. The pounds came piling back on in short order.

That was demoralizing to say the least.

But I have to say it taught me a valuable lesson.

I realize now that what I am doing is a commitment. I can’t let life circumstances drive me so far off track that I’m not keeping track of what I am doing.

I didn’t track my calories back then on those spreadsheets, but I do now using SparkPeople. I think that has helped me become more successful that I was back then. Now I’m officially only 2.4 pounds shy of 50 pounds lost and that is a greater accomplishment than what I had then. But the sad thing is that I started this time at a much higher weight. I started at 382.2 pounds.

As I approach 332 pounds once again, I realize that there is the potential for there to be a mental barrier ahead of me because I had been that weight before and wasn’t able to after losing some weight to keep it off. It’s a number that once spoke failure to me.

Of course now I’m redefining what those numbers mean to me. I’m ready to break through this number and what could potentially be a mental barrier.

It’s so much easier thinking about the situation now than it was back then because now I have some success.

It’s so much more powerful to look at the situation from the point of view of success rather than looking at it from a point of view of failure.

But it makes me have to deal with the fact that I once thought of this number as a failure.

I’m a new person now I think and I seem to be thinking differently than I did before.

It seems to be in a way a kind of gift that experience and time have given me and I wouldn’t want to go back to the way things were for a million bucks.

My weight tortured me back then. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t conquer it.

Now I just wish I knew the valuable information I know now back then.

It would have saved me a lot of trouble and heartache.

But 332 is not the only number barrier facing me now. As I mentioned before, in that previous weight-loss effort of mine, I never made it out of the 200s.

I think it will be a major milestone for me to face that transition, from the 300s to the 200s.

It’s a transition that I’m really going to have to wrap my head around pretty good I think to keep going with my success with weight loss.

But I can do it.

I think in the time between my reaching my goal of 50 pounds lost and me reaching the 200-300 pound barrier, I’m going to prepare my mind for that transition. I’m going to think a lot about those numbers.

I’m going to try and picture what that means and I’m going to spend as much time as I can convincing myself that I can do it, because I can and will.

I think if I can make it past those two barriers, then I will have really found major success and I hope that will open the door to more successes.

And so with that, I’m off to breaking down my barriers and seeking more success!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Awesome job! Be careful not to give the numbers any power to "spook" you or psych you out. Each pound lost is just like the other. Even when crossing from 300 to 299. Just keep on keeping on! :-)

    1870 days ago
  • MOMMYOF3_1983
    1871 days ago
    You can do this! Don't worry about yesterday, it's history! What you do today is the most important!

    You have lots of folks here cheering you on and with all the support and spark tools, this will be a breeze for you!!!
    1871 days ago
  • MARYBETH4884
    emoticon Your attitude is great and this will be reached and you sound ready to face the rest of your journey! emoticon
    1871 days ago
    You sound so ready, and I envy your strength! You can do this, and it will be wonderful when it happens! emoticon
    1871 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1871 days ago
    You have a wonderful attitude and you will no doubt reach your 50 pound goal and whatever other goals you have. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1871 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.