Well, I skimped on a blog yesterday (except for some pics I thought people might appreciate, since they have been soothing my anxiety leading up to the bday party)
but, today I can't hold out any longer. I am still super stressed and its hard to pinpoint why.
I knew the day before the party would be stressful, thats the preperation and errand running.
I knew the day OF the party would be stressful- thats a lot of family in one room, mainly my in-laws who REALLY stress me out.
But the day after? I should be relieved or if anything taking it easy, but my emotional eating has hit an all time high- which is exactly NOT how I wanted to start the month of February.
I did talk some things out with my husband, explaining to him that he contributes to my emotional eating at times. Mainly when he does this "I am watching the baby hun....go relax" and then I see him doing something that a) I wouldnt do or b) is a tad bit unsafe.
I have told him I would try my hardest not to micromanage. Its not fair to him or my daughter for me to nitpick at his parenting if he just doing things differently from me. This is something you learn from day one, when you bring the kid home from the hospital. But, when it comes to SAFETY, its like "COME ON!" No, the baby should not probably be sitting on a high bar table stool that spins. Yes, she did "get herself down" and congratulations she hit her head. And then there is the battle with the stairs, we have a gate at both ends of the stairs and my mother and I have told my husband NUMEROUS TIMES- do not let her attempt to crawl up 13 steep stairs because she wobbles, or has things in her hands while she is trying to climb. He glanced at her today and then walked the other way as I was asking "are you going to follow her?" Well, she reached the top despite him not following her and this time MY MOM yelled down that he needed to watch her before she breaks her little neck.
More stressful eating is probably stemming from my inlaws. They want Caley to go spend the night with them. I am trying to settle for more family dinners because their house REALLY IS dangerous, and has been since both my neice and my daughter were born. It doesn't cut it for toddlers NOT AT ALL, but they guilt trip and guilt trip and its just not fair. They had so much infant caley time because we lived down by them for three years. I finally got fed up with the close calls and moved her to my parents side of town instead, they shouldn't make me feel bad for just wanting to keep my baby safe. It's not my fault they can't keep their house clean and safe.
I still have bad memories from christmas. Baby girl was in a playpen, and I thinking she was perfectly safe- was informed from another family member she was awake in the play pen with a hammer and a bottle of cologne she had grabbed from a nearby table overflowing with items.
COME ON! That's not safe. And of course, upstairs my mother in law was frantically searching on the floor for a pill she thought she dropped before Caley or my 2 yr old neice Addy found it instead.
Now they want us to come up Saturday for a Pampered Chef party, leave caley overnight, then come up on Sunday for church so baby girl can get her birthday blessing from our old Pastor the same day as her Grandpa (whose birthday is Feb.) I know, I KNOW, they are going to suggest that we leave her overnight, and they are going to make it seem like its a favor and I am going to FREAK OUT all night before church on Sunday.
The good news is my husband stands strong with me on this issue and I tell him to yell at his parents so I don't always feel like the evil daughter in law. But, of course the bday party was an opportunity for them to push and push, leading to more stressful eating. Not to mention, the kiddo is over stimulated with bday and super bowl, she is resisting sleep at all cost. My husband and my mom are telling me how and what to do and I am just about to throw in the towel. The advice is not going to work if she just doesnt feel like sleeping. All the advice does is make me feel bad for having not thought of it in the first place. More emotional eating.
I do feel better after blogging. This won't be the end of my successful February- I just need to get back on the wagon.