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The Darwin Awards are out!!

Sunday, February 03, 2013

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed,
honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during
a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the triggeragain. This time it worked.

And now, the Honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered
for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a
moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.
The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun
at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder
block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give
them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended
the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was
then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which
he replied, Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King
in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk
turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food
order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available
for breakfast... The frustrated gunman walked away.

[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle
street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled
sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline,
but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The
owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh
he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family....unless
of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost
friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

Remember....
They walk among us, they can reproduce.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOANNANOW 2/4/2013 11:13AM

    oh boy what a sad commentary on our species! It's a good thing that we have evidence of genuine intellegence otherwise we would have died out long ago.
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ILOVEROSES 2/4/2013 8:23AM

    emoticon

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DARWHOHOO 2/4/2013 8:00AM

    This is ohhh so funny!!!

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PHEBESS 2/3/2013 6:23PM

    I seriously wonder about people!

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ESILBO 2/3/2013 5:50PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CATLADY52 2/3/2013 5:44PM

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LINDA! 2/3/2013 5:34PM

    emoticon Very funny!

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SRBSRB26 2/3/2013 5:05PM

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