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My Husband Doesn't like Me Cooking Lowfat!

Sunday, February 03, 2013

Yes, that is my dilemma! I hate to start cooking separate. When I do cook and bake lowfat and lower calorie, he says that he can taste the difference or comes right out and says that I don't have to make that again. I mean, I love him with all my heart, but come on! This is how I've lost so much weight. I've been modifying recipes or using SP recipes all the time and I love them and I can portion mine out accordingly and the rest of the family can eat all they want. My husband's not getting enough to eat. He's not feeling satisfied. I know that I'm 5'2" and he's 6'6", so maybe that's the problem! ha! He does alot of physical work on our dairy farm and with our cold winter, he works up quite an appetite. He loves his whole milk from the farm with his Oreos especially. That's his filler between meals, along with almonds and candy bars! He feels that he would like to go low-carb. He lost alot of weight with doing that before. That scares me. Just the thought of eating high fat everything all the time, doesn't sound kosher to me anymore. And he agrees with me, that what I've been doing, works for me definitely! I hate to go back to my high fat cooking because that's what put me up and over in the fat department! Lots of buttered popcorn at night. No-no, I can't do that anymore. That's what put on the pounds too, I know. I don't even do the low-fat popcorn air-popper method or microwave because it's just doesn't kick it for me, no matter what I put on it. There's nothing like the real thing, in my dept., so I just don't eat it. I'll nibble on my fruits and veggies.

Ok Spark buddies, now you know the gist of it! What's your advice? Making separate meals? Errr, but it is possible. I can get out my Lean Cuisines, Smart Ones I know and then make him his favorite chubby meals! The reason why I love the SP recipes or doing my own modifying, is because I can have more of it because of the over-all lower calories. I love quantity, so that works super for me. I can eat more in a day then if I ate mroe fattening meals and then my calories are all over with by the afternoon! Eating out is actually a good thing for us. I can get my grilled chicken breast sandwiches, and salads with watching all the toppings and he can get his fish and chips and burgers and fries and salads with all the toppings available.

I don't want to gain all my weight back! 5# so far gained and I don't like it, not one little bit! I've got to stop this!

Why is it that most of my blogs are crying out for help? It's because I'm not finding what truly works for me. I'm a work in process!

I know that as far as exercising, I will hopefully be able to do more once this new med. for my RA kicks in. 8 weeks of injections and it hasn't yet and my Rhemy says that he's going to give it another month and if it doesn't by then, he'll start me on a different biologic for RA. Sounds fun huh?! But my Rheumy says that once it kicks in, I WILL be able to exercise more and the weight will come off easier. Ya! That's my kind of talk! So far I can't exercise more than I take in.

So if any of you have any answers at all for me, I would appreciate it immensely! I have to get that VW Bug you know. It's not going to come easy, I can tell you that much! I will have earned it with all my being!!! And then some! One way or another, I will make February my winning month and 2013 will my shining star of a year! emoticon

Thank you for reading this and I'm wishing you all the very best for 2013 too!

emoticon to you all, Karen

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOTUSBURGER 2/23/2013 11:33AM

    I love that idea of putting the higher calorie condiments on the table. I'm stealing that one. My Hubby is the same way, I just make myself a HUGE salad and cook the meal like usual. if it's TOO high in calories or fat I don't eat as much or do some without the sauce. emoticon

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SUSAN-IS-WORTHY 2/8/2013 9:29PM

    Oooh, that is a delimma, but I can relate in some ways. I make healthier meals at home and a couple hours after dinner, my husband is starving and says he is just not getting enough to eat for dinner. Then he ends up snacking like crazy to fill the void, and since it is all carbs and so late at night, his weight is stuck and he gets frustrated. It has got to be due to the vast differences in men and women--what a pain!
I hate to say it, but I think you will need to separate the meals, even if only temporarily. Or, depending on what you make, can you have a small portion of what you make for your husband, and fill the rest with veggies or another low fat side for you? It sounds like your husband is burning a lot more calories than most people because of the type of work he is doing--believe it or not, he may need some of those calories. I agree with not being able to do low carb--I lost 11 pounds in one week once doing that years ago and I felt awful!
Hang in there with whatever compromise works for you and your family.

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 2/5/2013 6:36PM

    One suggestion I have that I haven't seen here is to put full fat condiments on the table like butter and his full fat milk and dressing for salad. That is one of the ways my husband and I handle this issue. I use a lower calorie "healthier" dressing and he eats his Thousand Island or Honey Mustard. I choose not to butter my corn, beans or bread, which he and my best friend do. It's small changes a little at a time.

When we first married he insisted on full fat milk (not living on a dairy farm where we can get it at will). Several years later he took a job that he was a "bar tender" for a club that used only 2% milk and he got used to that. He then tried the full fat milk again and refused to drink it anymore. It takes time for tastes to change.

Like you I refuse to make 2 different dinners/meals for the two of us. He just eats more of it than I do as I'm 5'4" and he's 6'1". So if I make mashed potatoes and steak I only eat my 3 - 4 oz of steak and one serving of potatoes and add a salad or some vegetables to fill up on. He eats more steak and potatoes and maybe a little of the salad/vegetable/fruit I have.

It's all about finding the right balance for you. I know you can do it!

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EBURGITE 2/4/2013 1:33PM

    my hubby balked at first, but after months of lower-fat things, he now feels ill when he eats high-fat. i'm 5'4", he's 6'3", so i understand the height thing. is there a way to add some higher fat things to his servings? make what you can eat, then separate it (say, 1/3, 2/3 portions), and add some butter, sour cream, cheese, olive oil, half and half, whatever to raise the fat content of his foods? honestly, the taste of higher fat things is generally more pleasing, and frequently more satisfying than low-fat. i found that out when i ordered my regular latte, and forgot to say "non-fat milk." it was soooo good, and then i realized why. emoticon
i was at a restaurant the other day and ordered clam chowder (which i haven't had in over a year) it came with this yellow slick on the top...i asked what it was--they added butter to it. as if it wasn't high enough fat already???? anyway, in my former days, everything tasted better with butter or cheese or sour cream. maybe it wil work for your hubby.
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ANGRITTER 2/4/2013 3:44AM

    I almost smell a game afoot. Hubby isn't wanting his high fat meals so you won't make your goal, is he? HAHA I would try that tactic if I had made a promise like that. Just saying... I am evil and your hubby is not, I assume. LOL

You can do this, but you many have to make modified options for yourself. I have been making salads for myself and adding the veggies and/or protein to the top of my salad so I can have SOME of the same things my family wants. But I am slipping in the changes and the applesauce where I can. And if someone wants fresh milk, someone can go milk it!

But you are right. It does make it difficult to be good when your family is eating like a king. We had NY strips, butternut squash with SmartBalance Buttery Spread for flavor, and green beans with the same SmartBalance. So I ate full on what everyone else did tonight. Tomorrow, I am back to my normal methods of just the salad with the protein and such until I can make a dent in this plateau I am on.

Hang in there!

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SUSUSUZZZIE 2/3/2013 10:23PM

    I'm so lucky that I haven't had to do separate meals but it isn't always easy for us. I think moderation is key for me. I'm not a low-fatter or a low-carb'er and I need my fats (and carbs) to feel satisfied. A small amount of healthy fats in my food makes me feel so much better. And I believe fat is important - just make sure it is in moderation and the healthy types as much as possible.

Good luck! You have recieved a lot of good advice here!

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67YKCEB 2/3/2013 6:32PM

    I have the same problem! AND IT DRIVE ME CRAZY! I do two different things. Some days I cook two meals (I have three others to cook for.) one for them and one for me. Then others it's a meal that I can add my veggies to. .... It's probably 3 and 3 meals with one free for all day.
On the meals for the 4 of us, I just eat a little and double up on the veggies.
I hope that you can find a happy balance.

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INZILANE 2/3/2013 5:57PM

    I have found that I don't like many of the SP recipes. We typically eat well-seasoned full-flavor foods. The SP recipes just fall short for us. However, I use a blog called skinny taste that has TONS of great healthy--but flavorful!!--recipes. My boyfriend didn't believe me when I told him the teriyaki chicken I made was healthy. He's mentioned he doesn't feel deprived at all, and I'm filling up without a problem. Maybe it's just a matter of choice of recipes. Skinnytaste breaks down the nutrition and weight watchers points for every recipe and is integrated into ZipList for easy shopping and meal planning.

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LIVINGFREE19 2/3/2013 5:12PM

    It looks like you already have enough advice! LOL!

I hope you get it worked out!

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_LINDA 2/3/2013 4:22PM

    I feel for you. Its so difficult when loved ones won't come onside with you trying to be healthy. Men traditionally have gotten away with the high calorie food as they can burn it off way easier, and its usually all they want -both my sister and sister-in-law have the same struggles with their hubbies. You can cook him what he wants, but nothing is forcing you to eat it. What you can do is set aside some of what you are making, make it healthy for you and cook the rest how he wants it. You can eat mostly fruits and veggies -you can have lots of volume for low calories, and only have enough of the high fat stuff to satisfy your fat requirements for the day (you do need some fat to absorb the nutrients in freggies better) The best idea is making a big batch of healthy and freezing it in serving sizes for yourself to ensure you always have something sane to eat on hand. Chili is a good rib sticking staple for example. Using extra lean ground beef 90% You are worth the trouble to find ways to eat healthy when your loved ones won't -I believe Sparks has articles on this very subject..
So sorry you have to deal with this frustration :( Wishing you all the best with it.
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BARBANNA 2/3/2013 3:58PM

    My husband cooks every chance he gets because he does not like low calorie foods. He cooks my food separate from his and my daughters. They like to eat steak, high carb foods and I eat lots of chiken and fish. We have a system in place that works well. Over the years we have learned to compromise! Hope you can work out a way to keep everyone healthy and happy!

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GRACEOMALLEY 2/3/2013 3:37PM

    Maybe if you prepare what he wants now and then, but primarily stick to your plan? If you include lots of fresh fruit and veggies for you, maybe you can make it work both ways? Not sure what to say, because you'd hope he'd support your efforts to keep yourself healthy and attractive, but he wants food he likes, too. Maybe try planning menus together?

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HEARTBUBBLE 2/3/2013 2:34PM

    I think many of us are on here because of just these sorts of dilemmas. My hubs has Crohn's issues and can only eat what I call "trailer park" food. No whole grains, no high fiber fruits, vegs, beans, legumes, nuts etc. I've been following the SP daily nutrition suggestions for myself. What I buy I try to prep right away when I get home from grocery shopping. I bake off the potatoes and sweet potatoes right away and for those I can double the quantities because he will eat those. I'll put all the freezer,fridge stuff away then prep the "finger foods" SP is so good about listing. I'm also learning that I can cut up a fruit or vegetable dipper set as quickly as I used to hang out waiting for the microwave to ding w/ some not so healthy "quick" alternative.

Right now I'm unemployed so I have more flexibility than if I worked outside but we usually buy him quicker prep foods since quantity is more important to him than quality ( though his beltline is catching up) Some of those TV dinners he likes make me queasy when I heat them for him. Never was a "gravy" fan. We both need a high quality protein dose a day and noon works for both of us right now. He eats his junk food while I prep this meal, then he eats most of it, sleeps, eats the rest, sleeps. He works 3rd so it works for us. He does a couple take out meals a week too. Burger,fries milkshake, fish fry.

I was pretty skeptical about committing again to nutrition and fitness w/ all that junk food around the house. I think because I now have the good information of SP daily nutrition suggestions w/ easy swap built in, I am finally moving past that excuse! emoticon and I've also enjoyed the following: For example today his french fries were calling my name, so I politely asked to snitch one. The first bite of it was heaven, the second OK and the last snitchy was "meh, why bother". That's happened w/ couple of other foods: son's pizza, fried chicken breast, Oreo cookie. In the month I've been doing the menu suggestions, my taste buds have changed in alignment w/ my new "bigger on the inside" body (thanks V.)

Guess I want to say, "You are smart enough and committed enough to learn how to do this, to feed both your desires. Just keep asking and you'll be shown the way to figure it out." And "Thanks for posting your problem. I feel better about my current not-feeling-very-supported problem for both "fit" and "organized"." emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 2/3/2013 1:54PM

    To be honest, I'm like your hubby and I don't like low fat diets either. I was on one for years and developed medical problems from it. They are not for everyone and, though it sounds like a perfect fit for you, it may not be for your husband. The nutrients in things like veggies and salad have been found to be better absorbed with a little fat. Saturated fat has not proven to be the problem that they once though it was and now they agree it is higly processed carbs. Low carb diets have been proven to be healthy and people actually lose more weight on them initially. The bottom line is that one needs to choose a healthy low carb diet which relies on fresh meat, fresh veggies, fresh fruits, nuts, seeds, healthy oils, beans, unprocessed grains like quinoa, and high quality dairy. Too many people choose a diet and eat the worst part of it like tons of processed meats, sugary cereals, pasta, bread, treats, etc. The basics of all good diets should be fruits and veggies. Your husband's whole milk doesn't sound too bad to me but the Oreos are definite not good. LOL. Almonds are very good for you. Candy bars? No. LOL.

Grilled chicken and salad fit on a low carb diet. Breaded fish and fries are not part of a low carb diet not is a burger if it contains a bun. You and your husband might be able to eat the same foods more than you think.

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THINRONNA 2/3/2013 1:37PM

    I am with you on wanting quantity! I am the same way...I need to have lower calories so I can have more and feel filled up. If it were me I would try maybe cooking one thing like a nice brat or steak (something like that) along with your regular meal. Something like that would fill him up I would think and he could have your lower calorie food as his side dish.

My kids get hungry again a few hours after a lower fat meal and I sit them down for a little meal of meats, cheeses, bread and mackerel spread of all things! It is kind of a Norwegian thing for kids to eat a meal like that before bed anyway. Maybe you could get him into the habit of a healthy cold meal in the evening?

Good luck! emoticon

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DEDICATED2HIM 2/3/2013 1:27PM

    oh Karen,
I know what you mean ....My husband is the world's pickiest eater and hates so much of what is good for him. Maybe you can both agree to give and take. Some meals cook with him in mind and others for yourself. Or spend one day and cook in bulk for yourself...cook two or three casseroles for yourself and you are set for the week....then each day you can just cook for him. What if, when you are out you order some lowfat meals to go from local restaurants and you have that while he eats his whatever. OR order something for him and you cooik for you.
what ever you do, do not cave in and give up. YOu've come this far --don't turn back.

Also....on another note. I recently purchased a used recumbent bike from a friend. It is PAINLESS for me....even with bad knees, hips and feet. And I can work up an amazing sweat with it. You should consider looking for one. Look on Craig's list or possibly EBay. or at yard sales. They are great means of aerobic exercise.

Hang in there girlfriend. YOu CAN DO THIS....with or without hubby's cooperation. And sweetly remind him that while YOU are doing the cooking, it 's YOUR choice what to cook....and that he is welcome to cook his own meals if he should like. :)

Comment edited on: 2/3/2013 1:29:02 PM

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A-DAY-AT-A-TIME 2/3/2013 1:08PM

  Maybe try one full fat thing for him each meal.

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FITGRL124 2/3/2013 12:57PM

    What if you use full fat versions and you just eat less? This way hubby will like it and you can still lose weight with fat. Fat isn't bad if you eat portion control. Just a thought.

You will figure this out and you will get that Beetle!!!

We're going to rock February! emoticon

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