Saturday, February 02, 2013
Today was one of my least favorite kind of days...so I've decided. In preparing to run the half marathon in June, today was my training day for kicking my speed up a bit. I hated every minute of it...but I did it anyway. I kicked and screamed throughout the run, cursed myself, pointed out every little thing that may have contributed to the discomfort I was feeling...but I finished it anyway.
Right now I am doing 3 runs per week. Not a whole lot and I shouldn't complain about it, but what I went through today was frustrating yet interesting once I got home and thought about it all. Today was the run where you are to push yourself above where you normally go. Not a whole lot of push, but just enough to challenge you, just enough to make you really feel that you are gunning it in a way you don't regularly do. It felt very uncomfortable, very annoying, made me angry a few times when I couldn't go as far as I was hoping I could. At the end of it, I didn't like it at all...until about 3 hours later.
How do you get better at running? I can do long runs all day long. They are great. They give you mileage, they give you satisfaction in being able to say you ran 6 miles, they are "easy" because they are ran at a slower speed. They are my favorite by far :) I look forward to them every week because they give me so much pleasure in accomplishing them. My goal, though, is to run this race in a 2:15 to 2:30 time. Me, personally, can't accomplish this by only doing long runs...I have to go through what I went through today to reach my goal. Plain.And.Simple. That's how I will get faster.
After I was done, 3 hours later or so, is when I sat down to think about things. It's all about change, and to change you need to get out of your comfort zone and experience things that don't always feel normal. That's what today was for me.
During the run I felt like I was failing myself, because the run felt so abnormal and difficult. I decided during the run that I had done something to cause this feeling of failure in me. I was quietly berating myself for not sleeping well the night before, for having intentions of self-sabotage. But after the run was done and I was home and out of the "push" I put myself into, I realized that that's all it was, was a "push". A push into an area I don't normally go, yet is where I need to be to get to my goals.
For me it's never comfortable trying new things. I feel awkward, I shy away from it all because it's new and I don't know what to expect. When I truly thought about it, that's what my life is now and I need to embrace it because it's not going away anytime soon. Life is new, it's wonderful, it's scary and it's all up to me now. The "push" into those new places is a good thing, no matter how uncomfortable it feels. This is in my running as well as regular life. I don't grow without it and it's what I want :)