Saturday, February 02, 2013
I was ready at the beginning of January... and something happened. I am not even sure at this point what it was, but I have to stop letting myself off the hook, stop procrastinating, and just get focused and start doing instead of talking about it. Talk has gotten really cheap. I feel like I wasted the month, eventhough it wasn't really awful, but it could have been so much more.
February is beginning horribly, mostly because of stress on the job front again.... they are trying to save the jobs of 50 teachers but to do so could affect my job significantly.... either by teaching a mixed class(es) or being loaded with 40 kids again, or the last option, which would be the worst, being laid off. The next week or so should prove to be interesting. I am extremely stressed and I shouldn't let it affect me to this extent because I have no control of the situation.
What really bothers me is how it will affect my kids! I have such a connection with my homeroom class which I spend half of the day with, I wish it was all day. Just a little history of our year so far... We started the year with 40 and a 5/6 split, broke off in the end of October and made 6th grade classes and one 5th grade. A teacher with a language arts certification was recalled, and she left us at the beginning of December. There has now been two subs in that room. My kids spend half of their day in that other room, and that kills me because they have already been through so much this year with all of that, if they lose me.... it will be bad... really bad. Any changes at this point are going to be bad, but some scenarios will be worse than others. They don't deserve this, they already have enough on their plates living in an urban, low-socioeconomic area.
So, keep me and my students in your thoughts that everything works out in a way that we are able to complete this school year together.