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    NINJALINDA   103,672
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WHY???

Saturday, February 02, 2013

But before I answer that existential question...the run details. Some runs you just know are gonna suck before you even head out the door. Today was one of those days. I don't mind running in cool weather, even sorta cold. Today was beyond that. At least there was no precipitation.

Got a good night's sleep last night and rolled out of bed around 9:30 this morning. I knew is was going to be COLD, so I was postponing the run start as long as I could. Finally got the nerve to check the temp around 10am. 28 degrees. Great. It rose all of one degree by 10:30, and I didn't check after that. Forecasted high for today was 42. Great. I don't think it made it.

I had on my long running gear, obviously, and found a fleece jacket to throw over me as I headed out. I do not do well running in a coat, but the first 0.5 mile I was planning as a warm-up walk, so I wanted a coat for that. After the walk I had warmed up some, so I ditched the coat and started off on my run. In retrospect, I should have had a second layer on the bottom, and maybe one on the top too.

Today's wind was not as bad as it has been lately, but it was pretty persistent. Somewhere around mile 8 or 9 I decided I was glad I had ditched the coat. It was still cold, but felt ok. This would change later.

The good news of today is I got the fueling thing figured out. Never felt like I ran out of gas (though I slowed WAY down at the end). I felt like I could go no farther than the 19.5 miles I ended up doing. I don't know how to explain this, but it wasn't a fueling issue - I don't think. I just felt like I was trying to go farther than my built up endurance would allow. If that makes sense.

Now, here I sit. All of my joints hurt. All of my muscles hurt. Every fiber of my being hurts. Now it's time for...WHY???

Why did I sign up for a marathon?? Obviously, I am a moron. Why did I piddle around and NOT lose this extra weight I'm carrying around? Obviously, I am a moron. Why did I start my training program late (one week), and miss too many training runs/walks along the way? Obviously, I am a moron. Why haven't I checked into whether I can back down & do the HM instead of the marathon on March 17th? Obviously, I am a moron. Why am I going to follow my remaining training schedule, which will have me attempting 23 miles 3 weeks from now? Obviously, I am a moron.

Well - that answers that. I think I came up with a mantra on my run today. (No, it doesn't have the word moron in it!) My inner complainer/wimp was whining at me. You know, the usual stuff. 'you can't do this!' 'Your feet (back, ankles, legs, etc) hurt!' 'I'm tired!' And on, and on, and on. My answer to each? 'Whatever...just DO it!'
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KLONG8 2/4/2013 10:00PM

    Keep going! You set this goal and you are NinjaLinda! It's the journey - and that's really the truth. We're all rooting for you!



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BOILHAM 2/4/2013 2:17PM

    I saw your blog today after I read your post on my marathon report, and thanks for commenting.

I read somewhere recently that the number 2 is not taking in enough fuel. I think everyone knows the number 1 reason is starting too fast.
At least that was one 'experts' opinion. So, I took in a lot more fuel on my recent marathon, and perhaps that helped me. Just something I thought I'd suggest, since you said you ran out of steam on your 19.5 mile long run.
Good luck and just finish the race, you will be so much farther ahead of those who never tried.

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 2/4/2013 11:30AM

    Just do it!!! That is what you are doing my dear. You can do this!!

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JANEMARIE77 2/3/2013 11:20AM

    no words of wisdom
http://www.youtube.com/watch?featur
e=player_embedded&v=1sElYG7LmUU

just like this guy leave that voice behind emoticon

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SEEHOLZ 2/3/2013 11:05AM

    To me, it sounds like a very successful run! And yes, you'll make it on marathon day- it might not turn out as pretty as it would have if you put in more training and lost more weight-LOL (that's just a fact that I face all the time myself) but if you go in with realistic expections, you'll get out, probably hurting, but feeling incredibly accomplished at the same time!
There is this part of you that DOES want to to this... or you would have given up already... you are a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for!!!

High Five on 20 miles! That's a MILESTONE!!!

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NANADERRICK 2/3/2013 7:35AM

    This is Sarcastic SOB BOB...obviously you ought to ron mo, you moron:)


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WONDERWOMAN 2/2/2013 9:28PM

    Cold feet? Literally and figuratively? I surely don't have any words of wisdom for you as I've never attempted that kind of distance. Hopefully Catherine or someone with more experience and knowledge will weigh in with experience and wisdom for you.

Hugs - we are here for you to vent and talk it out. Just don't give up completely whatever you do!

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 2/2/2013 8:49PM

    Congratulations girl!!! In spite of the weather and the week you had....you basically did it!!

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CRYSBROWN1 2/2/2013 6:37PM

    emoticon
I'm sorry that your run was not what you wanted it to be. I saw your feed this morning and I was hoping for the best...

I know that you probably already know this so I may be stating the obvious, but I feel like you may be psyching yourself out. The reason that I say this is because you did run 19.5 miles which is incredibly impressive...I know that I have never run that far! Therefore, I am guessing that with mind over matter you can do it, I just know it, just a little bit farther that's all! I am thinking that instead of training your body - although of course that is important and it seems like you are worked out the kinks out with the fuel issue - then now it is time to work on the mental training. You are already signed up for this event and you want to enjoy it and have a great time so why not focus on just that. I know that it is hard NOT to focus on how daunting this process is as I sneak a peek at my current marathon plan and see mileage that seems d@mn near impossible but instead, take each run day by day. You have the entire month of February to really get your body for the big day. Take advantage of each training run and enjoy the moment.

I am rooting for you and I KNOW that you can do it!!!

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MIRAGE727 2/2/2013 6:10PM

    OMG, I had a similar conversation with myself during my 10K today! It involved the fact that I was so....forget about me. I'll blog it soon. I wish I had something profound to tell you. The only thing I can think about is you have an opportunity to do something I can't do right now...dr's orders...long story. I really wish I could train for one and maybe, some day I will. Right now, I am able to talk to Marathon finishers and live vicariously through them. I know you will do this! Be strong, train well, and own this sucka! All the best!
emoticon

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