Saturday, February 02, 2013
It's a long while since I believed that being X weight or X size would solve all my problems and make everything amazing.
But I did expect to feel something.
I've never ever been 10 stone anything, never seen that number on that side of the scale. I half expected never to see it, and if I ever did there would be squealing and dancing, or at least jumping up and down. What actually happened was I did a double take, got off the scale and weighed again to make sure it was't a fluke, smiled a big smile and got on with the rest of my day.
Same goes for fitting into size 12 jeans. Size 12 has been my goal since I was at least 12. That's more than half my life I've been aiming for that size, and now I'm finally there. I was running the other day and felt my phone jiggling about in my pocket, which it didn't used to do because my workout trousers were so tight around my thighs. And I thought to myself "I'm size 12 now. Actually a 12 in jeans and everything. This should be epic!" but it's not. When I bought the jeans I smiled a huge smile...and got on with the rest of my day.
Is it just me? Is there something wrong with me? Should I be dancing around like a crazy person right now when I'm actually just sitting on my chair?
I was expecting some kind of insane celebration when I reach my goal weight, but now I wonder if I'll do anything at all. Other than smile a ginormous smile and get on with the rest of my day.