Saturday, February 02, 2013
Wow, what a roller-coaster ride this week has been!!! I'm not sure I'm exactly off the ride, but it's now calmer. Let's go back shall we? I'll explain you what happens, or what I understand has happened.
Wednesday of last week, first weigh-in of the Biggest Loser Challenge, I lost 1.8 pounds. Wow I was super happy, because to meet my BLC goal, I need to lose 1.6 pounds each week so I was on target. My energy level was super high.
Thursday of last week, I did a lot of working out. I did my BeFit video, my TNT for the challenge AND I went swimming with my sister for 45 minutes. I was so proud of myself.
Friday of last week, we went to my sister's place for dinner. I slightly overate and drank a bit more wine that I should have, but all in all, my day was not that bad.
Saturday of last week, we were celebrating our 6th years anniversary, so my BF and I went to the restaurant. That was planned, but I still overate, and there was a lot of carbs in my plate. I was proud because we shared a dessert instead of getting one each. And I thought I had still 3 days to make up from those 2 days of overeating.
Sunday , the scale was up, but I thought it was mainly because of the salt. I drank a lot of water.
Monday, I don't remember exactly but I think I was still following my plan, feeling good about myself, I drank a lot of tea to get rid of the water retention. I was determined to at least get back to my last weigh-in weight.
Tuesday, Oh the Humanity, I stepped on the scale and I could not believe what I saw: 189.6 lb!!! I was down almost 2 pounds since last week. I was jumping of joy! I was convinced I would have a great result for the next day's weigh-in. My day went well, I even workout before my choir rehearsal.
And then, the day of the weigh-in arrived. With a lot of confidence I stepped on the scale and looked at it.
Oh my! Really?
I stepped off the scale and went back on it, thinking something was wrong.
192.4 lb!! A gain of 1.2 lb! How was that possible if yesterday I registered a LOSS of 2 pounds?
From there, I spiraled down.
My breakfast that day consisted of eating a banana and an entire container of chocolate Philadelphia cream cheese.
My lunch was a poutine and a giant brownies.
I did not eat dinner until 10 PM because I was not hungry before that, but I munched on dates and end up reheating left over of the beef and cabbage casserole I made earlier this week. I don't know how many calories I consumed, but it was probably close to 3000. When I got home after work, I put on my pajama and bathrobe and stayed on the couch until I went to bed. I was feeling like a failure.
Why that overreaction to a little gain? Oh I guess we can blame old uncle TOM who was visiting this week!!!
I tried to get back on the horse thursday and I ate better and did some working out (30 minutes in the pool). Friday was better but did not have time to workout.
Today, saturday, I want to catch up. Counting today, I have 4 days to do my best and work toward my goals. But more importantly, I must learn from last week.
I must not let hormonal mood-swings get the best of me again. I totally lost control and blamed myself for an hormonal phenomenon. I took a ride on the pity train, but that was my last ticket.
We all know this journey is not linear! I can look back and see that I've lost ONLY 6 pounds since september. Or I can look further back and realised I've lost 50 pounds, learn to run and jogged a 5k. I can cry over the fact that I can't do proper push-ups. Or I can give myself credit for improving my strength a lot in the last month.
Blaming myself will not get me anywhere. Even if I cry a lot, that won't make me any thinner! So I decided to wipe my tears, get of my couch, work out, eat right, and feel proud about what I do.
And if the scale goes up a little, I will remember that my success is not only a number. I will take in all the great comments I get from my friends and family and where them like medals. I will not compare myself with anyone but ME. It's my journey and I'm the only one in control. TOM, special occasions, upsetting events will happen, because that's part of life. But I can control how I react and behave in these occasions. I'm not a slave to any of these situations, so I'm gonna try my best to keep my head up and my eyes on the prize.
Will my weight be down next wednesday? I hope so. But if it's not I'll keep going, keep fighting, and, as we say in my viking team, I will ROW HARD!