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Snottitude? S'not nice!

Saturday, February 02, 2013

So you're trying to sustain motivation. With your fitness program. With your nutrition program. Calories in, calories out: all of that. Yeah.

You know attitude is key. That attitude is a state of mind. That you choose your attitude. An attitude of gratitude for every pound lost and every nonscale victory. (Yup, cheesy: but it works).

It works until you encounter snottitude. From others. Prescriptive. Didactic. Hectoring, even. And then . . . it's a challenge.

It's the snottitude that tells you, from a position of authority and superiority, what you SHOULD be doing. Yeah. You're not really running if you're walking part of that 5k race. You'll never get fit unless you start lifting weights. You're not gonna lose weight unless you drink 8 glasses of water a day. And a big breakfast. Every day. And eliminate chocolate completely.

Or whatever. Everybody else is the expert about you.

Except you. And after all, what do YOU know about you? You're just learning, right? You're just figuring it out.

So it's easy to be deflated by snottitude. To lose that positive attitude. Especially in early February, with New Year's Resolutions fading fast and Valentine's Day chocolate fast approaching. That's probably why attendance of newbies at my gym is dropping noticeably.

And so what might help? Continuing to take it at your own pace. Continuing to figure it out for yourself. Discounting everybody else's expertise, which is after all based upon THEIR experience. About THEMSELVES. And not about you.

YOU. You're the YOU expert.

And snottitude? S'not nice. S'not helpful. S'not worthy of your attention.

Just keep on keeping on. In your own way. In your own time. You'll get there. And then you'll stay there, too. You'll maintain. MAINtenance is gonna be the MAIN thing. After all, as many as 95% of those who are presently so superior because of their weight loss are destined to regain . . . but not YOU. Not if you figure out maintenance as you move along your path.

How I wish I could find a way to communicate this, telepathically, to some of the discouraged and shamed faces I'm seeing on the treadmills, trudging away. Best I can do? Friendly, respectful smile. And minding my own business.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    There was a nice fitness podcast I heard recently where I liked a point John Berardi made. Here's the actual podcast:


    And the point he made was that no strategy will work ALWAYS for EVERYONE FOREVER.

    And wisdom is understanding this - that different kind of things will work for different people, and sometimes even for for the same people at different times, given where we're at in our lives.
    1866 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/6/2013 12:51:59 AM
    We are the experts (even though it may take us a while to find what works...)
    1867 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/4/2013 8:55:38 AM
    One advantage of being on Spark for almost 4 years is I know what works for me.

    Now I just need to execute...
    1868 days ago
    Snotitude is ESPECIALLY effective when we haven't hog-tied our critical selves and kept it at bay...!

    When I'm real comfy with myself and appreciative of all I've done others can talk till they're blue in the face about woulda-coulda-shoulda and I just yawn...that's nice. I'm happy with what I'm doing thank you...!

    1868 days ago
    I ABSOLUTELY love this! How many times have we all heard something along the lines of: "Well, you're not really on maintenance if you're doing/not doing xxx!" or "You're not really living a healthy lifestyle unless you're eating/not eating xxx" or "You can't really be benefitting from your exercise routine unless you're doing xxx"?

    It's enough to make me want to start foaming at the mouth sometimes! I know there's a natural inclination to want to bring others on board if we feel like we've found something that's worked for us, but I think the most important thing I've learned about this process is how much of an individual one it is. Sure, I can learn a lot from other people's success and benefit from their support, but the bottom line is that I've got to follow a plan that works for me.
    1868 days ago
    We are so susceptable to the comments of others. Our own insecurities have us second-guessing our certainties and assumptions when someone else comes out with strongly worded statements that contradict them. That's one of the good things about Sparkpeople... we can hear enough other voices agreeing with us that it boosts our confidence and determination to continue.
    1868 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/3/2013 11:21:33 AM
  • KANOE10
    Yes, it is amazing how people think they are experts about telling you what to do! You are so right..Believe in yourself. You are your own expert.

    I also watch resigned faces at the gym and cheer them on silently.

    My gym is also losing people as Feb hits.


    1868 days ago
  • NANCY-
    Wonderful post! There is a difference between helping and Snottitude.

    Best to suggest by example. When I do offer my two cents, I tell them that is is my two cents and they can take it or leave it, it is their choice. I also put a qualifier on it like "What works for me is", "you might want to try" I'd rather be kind and say something. I do not force them, but I would rather offer a polite suggestion than say nothing.
    If not directly then I would suggest an instructor/trainer offer assistance.
    Not that I am a know it all but I would be remiss if I did not offer some kindness. Sure sometimes it is met with anger, other times it is a way to make a new friend.

    1868 days ago
  • _LINDA
    Well said and explained. We each have our own way of living that suits us as individuals only. I may not be a runner like so many people on here, but that doesn't mean my fitness level is of any less of quality then theirs..
    Whatever floats your boat -none of any busybody's business!
    Here is to being the amazing individual you are, being successful -in your own way!
    You go girl!
    1869 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    1869 days ago
    Oh this do good! Snotattitude. Perfectly put.
    1869 days ago
    SO true!!!!! Each of us has to figure out what works for us, whether we need variety in our food or routine in our meals; whether we need crazy extreme sports or long distance walking; whether we lose quickly or slowly. Each of us is different, and what works for one doesn't work for another.

    So YES, we need to be supportive of each other. And if someone asks, share information. But telling someone they're wrong? Nuh uh!!!!!!
    1869 days ago
    Great blog. I walk because I like walking. I don't need to run. You need to do what is good for you and get you were you want to go.
    1869 days ago
    Another great blog! :)
    1869 days ago
    This is what I was just going to post on your page after your comment on my blog.
    Snottitude LOL That says it all. I’ve met people who said I didn’t RUN the race because I take walk breaks. Yeah, like who made them the race police.

    Then I read your blog. Perfectly stated. I love your attitude. I'm going to remember this.
    1869 days ago
    I try not to tell other people how to behave. Sometimes I see people doing yoga in running shoes, or lifting way too much weight, too fast, but I keep my mouth shut, except to say "Isn't yoga fun tonight?" or "Doesn't it feel good to come out in the cold to lift weights?" Because what do I know about their abilities or needs?
    1869 days ago
    LOVE THIS BLOG!!!! So True, and so many of us can get demoralized, by our own failings, certainly, but even more so by the "preachy-ness" of others. THANK YOU!
    1869 days ago
    Love it, voted for it... a message that needs to be Sparked far and wide! The experiment of ONE! Each one of us! Spark on! emoticon
    1869 days ago
    Love this blog! You're so right that it's easy to get deflated by comments from know-it-alls. So glad I've found what works for me, and it's hard to argue with success, right?
    1869 days ago
    Well put, nice blog.
    1869 days ago
  • DALID414
    I so want to talk to people at the gym, too. Who knows what they read on my face, but I'm thinking all positive and motivational stuff.
    1869 days ago
    So very sad but true.
    If the same thing worked for everyone we wouldn't all be here, would we?
    1869 days ago
    So very true, we tend to forget that we are the experts on ourselves, and this makes us give away our power.
    Nice reminder, very well put!
    1869 days ago
  • BOSS61
    Somehow I thought this one was about aggressively grabbing for the Kleenex box...
    1869 days ago
    Stay motivated!
    1869 days ago
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