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    GINNJEN1974   8,385
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Finding love for Yourself


Saturday, February 02, 2013

Do you love yourself? I often think not to much of myself. Do I hate myself for letting my weight get so high. Did I not love myself enough to realize and reverse the direction I was headed. The answer is complicated. I have been known to hurt myself on many levels. I was not always kind to myself. I used drugs, my body, and my soul up. I was running from myself and who I am.

I am sure most of this makes no sense. Being a survivor doesnt always mean we come away unharmed. We are broken people. Our hearts bleed and sometimes we find another way to express it. Harming ourselves is just the tip of that ugly iceberg.

I want to love myself more each day. I know that I can love. I adore my two girls. They have made me realize the above actions did not only effect me but would in the end damage them as well. I did not wish that so I stopped most of those actions. The eating myself to the weight I am was just a steady abuse that goes a bit more undected for what it truly is.

I love my husband. Did not know it til many years in. He is for me and there is nobody else who I would want to spend the rest of my life with.

I love my animals. I love my family ( most of them). Where do I love myself???

I am not to sure if I know how too. I will try and figure it out. I just turned 39 and I dont want to spend the next 30 years not liking myself. I want to be loved not only by those around me but from inside of me.

Hope I didnt confuse the heck out of everyone. Love yourself today. Have a great weekend.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MORTICIAADDAMS 2/4/2013 12:33PM

    I do love myself and I hope that someday you love yourself too. If you could see yourself as others see you then you would have no problem with this. It often takes years to heal from the pain of the past. I hope that you reach this place soon.

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KIWIANN 2/3/2013 8:57AM

    Nobody gets through life without some scars, but some end up with more than others! The love you have for your daughters and husband is a great inspiration for making positive changes in your life. You should be proud of yourself, loving anyone enough to make tough changes in our life is not easy, and you have already made so much progress.
The ways we think of and talk to ourselves are very deep rooted habits. Be patient with yourself as you are trying to make a positive transformation in your self-image and self-love. I have some experience at trying to overcome these things, and in my experience every time I work through one facet of my problems, a new one surfaces at a deeper level. The good news is that with practice you get better at handling it, and though the process may go on for the rest of your life, the continued growth makes it all worth-while. emoticon

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GMO_JEN 2/2/2013 9:35PM

    it sounds like you have had a very trying journey thus far, but that you are doing better now. I agree with some of the others, we are always harder on ourselves than anyone else. Its so much better to love yourself. Thank you for a very honest blog.

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LAINYC 2/2/2013 5:02PM

    emoticon

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BESTMEPOSSIBLE 2/2/2013 11:24AM

    we are often less kind to ourselves than anyone else we know. If I had a friend that treated me the way I sometimes treat myself, I wouldn't keep them as a friend. It helps a lot to like and forgive yourself.

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FIRECOM 2/2/2013 10:49AM

    Pure honesty in this blog and I appreciate it.

I don't think I have "hated" myself but I really disgusted with myself for not taking control of my weight earlier in life. Had I done that I am confident that I would not have had a myriad of problems such as;

Morbid obesity - I am down from 335 to 162 pounds
Major heart problems - I have had two CABG's and soon will have a pacemaker.
T2 Diabetes - Now in remission
CHF - I am symptom free now.
High blood pressure - now we are trying to get it up. it is too low now.

Thanks for a very thoughtful post.

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