Saturday, February 02, 2013
Do you love yourself? I often think not to much of myself. Do I hate myself for letting my weight get so high. Did I not love myself enough to realize and reverse the direction I was headed. The answer is complicated. I have been known to hurt myself on many levels. I was not always kind to myself. I used drugs, my body, and my soul up. I was running from myself and who I am.
I am sure most of this makes no sense. Being a survivor doesnt always mean we come away unharmed. We are broken people. Our hearts bleed and sometimes we find another way to express it. Harming ourselves is just the tip of that ugly iceberg.
I want to love myself more each day. I know that I can love. I adore my two girls. They have made me realize the above actions did not only effect me but would in the end damage them as well. I did not wish that so I stopped most of those actions. The eating myself to the weight I am was just a steady abuse that goes a bit more undected for what it truly is.
I love my husband. Did not know it til many years in. He is for me and there is nobody else who I would want to spend the rest of my life with.
I love my animals. I love my family ( most of them). Where do I love myself???
I am not to sure if I know how too. I will try and figure it out. I just turned 39 and I dont want to spend the next 30 years not liking myself. I want to be loved not only by those around me but from inside of me.
Hope I didnt confuse the heck out of everyone. Love yourself today. Have a great weekend.