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It's Not Your Fault


Saturday, February 02, 2013

A dear Spark friend lost their job this past week. It wasn't anticipated. It came out of the clear blue and well, we've all had those moments in our lives where we sit their numbly and seem to move as if by rote. Like losing a partner or a child the experience is so private and so personal that you are left standing there as if sand were running through your hands - anything you might say seems so damned inadequate. So you mumble the obligatory "I'm sorry," "I'm here for you," or "Ill pray for you." Silently you utter a prayer that thanks your deity of choice for not putting you through this experience.

For those of us who have been through this gut wrenching experience the gauntlet we run is agonizing. We scrutinize our selves, our performance at work. Did we upset someone? Was out work sub par?

"I'm a good person!!! Why would they get rid of me."

"I've got obligations and bills and..........."

Somedays there is not enough anti anxiety medication in the world to calm the storm but there is one solid and true fact I know for experience: No matter what anyone implies, it's not your fault.

Anxiety turns to anger and we lash out and blame and we look for some sort of answer that helps us balance the scales in our lives because we are so sure the rest of the world is judging us like crazy. After all, we just got fired. We feel embarrassed especially when we sort of shrug our shoulders and say "I'm really not sure why." We imagine the world doing one of those "Yeah right!" in response.

So if you've had this experience recently I can assure of you of three things:

It's not your fault
Pain is necessary, suffering is optional
"Be still and know that I am God."

One of my morning meditations this week said the following: "Quite often the pain and anxiety we feel over a life situation is simply God clearing a path for our success.

Namaste
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIRANIMAL 2/4/2013 7:47PM

    Oh, but man, is it ever hard to see that path when you're in the thick of it! I do believe god/the universe/etc. only gives us what we can handle, and that's why all my tribulations have taken other forms, because I would crumble in an instant at this one! Soooo hard, and my heart goes out to your friend!

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NASFKAB 2/3/2013 4:31AM

  thanks for the post

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CARTOONB 2/2/2013 11:51PM

    Well said.

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MOBYCARP 2/2/2013 7:24PM

    Thank you for this blog. Involuntary job loss has been on my mind lately. My job is as secure as it has been for the past decade or so, but the way of the world now is such that I expect my career to end in layoff rather than in planned retirement.

I won't be my fault.
Suffering will be optional.
I need to be still, and look for what God intends.

Good thoughts to keep in mind for when/if the layoff happens.

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HDHAWK 2/2/2013 6:30PM

    Good meditation and one we need to be reminded of. It's so hard to see when you're in the middle of a situation.

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AJDOVER1 2/2/2013 6:27PM

    I appreciate this so much, John. Change is so hard to bear sometimes, especially when it comes as a shock. Job losses affect whole families and it's difficult to step back and see God's plan amid the chaos.

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GEEMAWEST 2/2/2013 5:35PM

    You are such a wise man and I thank God that you are in my life!

Thanks for being you.

Love and Hugs emoticon

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NEEDBU66 2/2/2013 4:38PM

    Bad bad bad economy.

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ANATASHIKI 2/2/2013 12:48PM

    it never happened to me, but after winning the contest for my actual job, in a country where many of these contests are sold or at least tampered with, I realized that all the 11 years of med school and residency I was preparing for not having a job and having to quit and do something else. I try to remember that and how lucky I am to have a job in a small town in these times. even if it's not stellar. I confess my gratitude needs working on it emoticon

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VICKI-BISHOP56 2/2/2013 10:29AM

  My son just lost his job too and only because the owners wife decided she wanted that position so since she couldn't do it as long as Chris had it, he had to go. But he's got interviews lined up for a new job and he tells me he'll be fine. So I have to accept that and leave it in God's hands. emoticon

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DEBRITA01 2/2/2013 9:55AM

    ...or when He closes one door, He opens another. If we can be patient we discover the plan He has for us. Good blog, John. emoticon

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REGILIEH 2/2/2013 9:45AM

    So beautifully said! What is that saying, when a door closes a window opens, something like that. I hope that person who lost their job will claim that it will be a good thing and he/she will get a better job! I'm believing it for them.

John, you ALWAYS know exactly what to say and how to say it! What a gift you have been given and what a gift we have been given in getting to read your words.

emoticon emoticon

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SLIMLEAF 2/2/2013 9:17AM

    "Quite often the pain and anxiety we feel over a life situation is simply God clearing a path for our success."

- that's a great quote, John. Thank you!

I'll let you know when I get to the 'success' part.

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PATTILYNN224 2/2/2013 9:11AM

    Been there as well. Just know it does get better.

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BLUEROSE73 2/2/2013 9:06AM

    Been there. It really sucks. My prayers are with your friend to find the new path that is out there somewhere for them

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