Saturday, February 02, 2013
A dear Spark friend lost their job this past week. It wasn't anticipated. It came out of the clear blue and well, we've all had those moments in our lives where we sit their numbly and seem to move as if by rote. Like losing a partner or a child the experience is so private and so personal that you are left standing there as if sand were running through your hands - anything you might say seems so damned inadequate. So you mumble the obligatory "I'm sorry," "I'm here for you," or "Ill pray for you." Silently you utter a prayer that thanks your deity of choice for not putting you through this experience.
For those of us who have been through this gut wrenching experience the gauntlet we run is agonizing. We scrutinize our selves, our performance at work. Did we upset someone? Was out work sub par?
"I'm a good person!!! Why would they get rid of me."
"I've got obligations and bills and..........."
Somedays there is not enough anti anxiety medication in the world to calm the storm but there is one solid and true fact I know for experience: No matter what anyone implies, it's not your fault.
Anxiety turns to anger and we lash out and blame and we look for some sort of answer that helps us balance the scales in our lives because we are so sure the rest of the world is judging us like crazy. After all, we just got fired. We feel embarrassed especially when we sort of shrug our shoulders and say "I'm really not sure why." We imagine the world doing one of those "Yeah right!" in response.
So if you've had this experience recently I can assure of you of three things:
It's not your fault
Pain is necessary, suffering is optional
"Be still and know that I am God."
One of my morning meditations this week said the following: "Quite often the pain and anxiety we feel over a life situation is simply God clearing a path for our success.