Friday, February 01, 2013
I seem to be abe to do great on my eating for 2 weeks. Every time. And then I start prowling. Especially in the evening, after work. Even if I'm not hungry, I start thinking about what I can eat.
Smartly, I don't have any of my red light foods in the house. But that means instead of eating something I really want, I "settle". Out comes whatever I can find, like my husband's box of generic, reduced-fat Ritz crackers--and I start eating them. And eating them. And EATING them--and the worst part about it is, all the while, the conversation is going on in my head. "What are you doing? Why don't you just STOP? Put them AWAY! They're not even GOOD. You're not even HUNGRY. This isn't helping you reach your goals ..." and I keep right on chewing. That night I went straight thru 2 SLEEVES of those nasty crackers!
The morning after the latest episode, I even told my husband what I did, and I told him the little ditty about just because I got a speeding ticket doesn't mean I have to drive around breaking every traffic law I can for the rest of the week. See? I have the right words inside my head; I read enough motivational stuff and informational stuff to have the tools.
SO WHAT STOPS ME FROM USING THEM / LETTING THEM WORK?
The one that tortures me most often is "you can't stop eating too much until you figure out what's eating you." Ugh.
I haven't comPLETEly blown it since the 2-sleeves-of-crackers-in-one-s
itting, but I'm having trouble getting completely back on track. Today's menu was a banana on an english muffin for breakfast; 2 bowls of homemade chicken rice soup for lunch; and a Cherry Garcia Peace Pop for "dinner". I feel bloated, ugly, un-disciplined, and a little bit hopeless. I know what I want to do is possible, because so many others here have done it--and more. And I've done it before. So why not now--what's so different?
No real point to this blog; just getting how I'm feeling on the record. Thanks for reading.
P.S. I've still only missed 2 days of my exercise streak since I started again. That's something ...