I Feel Like It's De Ja Vu.....

Friday, February 01, 2013

So.... I haven't done anything spectacular over the past year... (Since the last time that I restarted my diet and exercise routine).... In fact most of my weight returned.... (which usually happens when you stop doing anything healthy all-together).... So I'm here again, pushing myself and forcing myself to follow through.

It all started three weeks ago when I decided on a whim to step on the scale... (big mistake!) I had gained everything back!!! I was so depressed and angry with myself that I forced myself to jump start my routine that day!.... I cut out everything processed (which is soooo much when you actually read all the labels!), nothing artificially flavored, or artificially dyed, and no refined sugars.... (eek!).... I basically stripped my diet of everything that I usually ate.... And it has been a living hell let me tell you...

The first couple of weeks were not fun.... I fell like a crack addict on withdrawal! And even now it's hard because I refuse to eat anything not healthy.... which means fruits, veggies, grains, oats, and poultry and fish.... and lets say you can only prepare them so many ways before getting really bored.... so I've enlisted the help of my dear friends.... Spices... HAHA!

I've lost some weight over the last few weeks (WOOHOO!).... but it's still becoming harder.... I'm the only one in my family and household that is watching every little thing that goes into my mouth... and I exercise daily (alternating between cardio and weight training).... and it really sucks... I've been getting compliments about good I look and what not.... but it becomes frustrating because I seriously feel all alone..... literally... Even the people I work with just aren't getting it... some people think I'm doing this because I'm vain... and others think I'm crazy (But you don't "look" over weight! You're just overreacting).... the thing is, I am over weight... and I don't feel good about myself... and frankly it sucks....

I wish I could be more active on here, to meet new people.... People who know what I'm going through.... people who care... and people that can help motivate me through the really tough times... I've found that many people are registered here on sparkpeople, but it doesn't seem that anyone is actually on here... (just my perception)... unlike facebook, where everyone is always commenting and posting and yada-yada-yada....

*sigh*.... regardless.... I'm sticking this through.... I have to... I need to start feeling better about myself and the way I look... and I need to be healthier so I don't have health issues later down the road.... the results are slow (I'm realizing I'm not as young as I was)... and I know that someday I'll look sexy in my underwear, and meet my goal weight...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You can do it. I can emphasize with you. I, too, had to kick start my exercise program in November 2012. When I found a full time office job in November 2011, I gained most not all of the weight I had lost in one year and maintained it for two years. I was sitting on my butt at work and was not exercising everyday when I didn't have a full time job. I only exercised on the weekends and I ate healthy with an occasional treat. Since November 2012, I exercise on a regular basis (more than weekends) and have lost around 15 pounds. If I can do -- you can do it.
    1661 days ago
  • SKY214
    1661 days ago
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