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    CLPURNELL   30,616
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What do I do now.....

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Friday, February 01, 2013

Often people reach a goal and think the above thought. They have worked so hard to get to an arbitrary number and realize they may be smaller but they still aren't happy. They still see all their flaws and none of their successes. I feel that happens because you trade one addiction (food) for another (diet and exercise). Without addressing the why or how you got where you were in the first place.

You have to fight the real reasons you aren't happy. Often this has zero to do with weight loss. Because no matter how much weight you lose you won't be happy. You have to learn to be happy with who you are in your entirety now. Not at goal weight or anything else. Food addiction is just like any other addiction it often is a tool for we use to numb ourselves from some sort of pain in our life. Some sense of guilt or not being worthy or what ever it is.

To be truly successful at LIFE (not only weight loss) We have to strive to banish those demons. Forgive others and ourselves and let go of past pain, heart ache and guilt. No exercise routine to fix that and it is often a hard and emotional journey.

You have the power to change your life in ways you wouldn't even dream. 2 years ago I was 350+ pounds and miserable. I have lost 100+#s and am living a life better than I ever dreamed. I didn't win a lotto or get surgery I started making very conscious decisions to do what made me happy. to do what made me feel good about myself. To stop defining myself by anyone else's terms. To take power over the only thing I have control over and that is MY life. The mind is the most powerful tool we have. unfortunately many of us have been hard wired to use it against ourselves. To make it limit us. To make us define ourselves in negative ways or worse yet to define ourselves by the reflection in someone else's eyes.

This whole journey isn't easy. It's not magic. It's hard work both internally and externally. We have to do the work on both sides of the equation. The goal of life is TO BE HAPPY. That's it. you do that you win. hands down. Not to collect the most cars, houses, jewelry but to fill that hole inside that many of us attempted to fill with food. That hole is a lack of happiness we can't fill it with money, fame, relationships, toys or anything else. we have to fill it with what makes us individually happy. We have to seek out and find our happiness. We have to practice doing what makes us happy. We have to take risks of falling flat on our faces sometimes to be happy, But once you are truly happy and you have changed your mind set and emotions on what really matters to you. You will be in absolute awe of what you can accomplish. Not only in weight loss but in life.

Then your mind isn't fighting against you it is fighting for you. then you can not only build yourself up but build up those around you. Then you aren't afraid to try thing because you know whether it works or not you will take something positive away from it. What ever you truly want in life you can have. It may not be in the way you thought you would get it but you can get there. I for one am living proof...











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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERIJ16 3/22/2013 8:56PM

    emoticon Your insight is amazing and your accomplishment is awesome.

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LESLIE56 3/22/2013 8:51PM

    You look fabulous..Good for you. emoticon emoticon

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WOWEETOO 3/22/2013 8:43PM

    by the way friend you are looking hot for sure!! lol


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WOWEETOO 3/22/2013 8:43PM

    hey my friend..i know whatof you speak..let me throw this out at you for a moment..i have been maintaining now for over four years my 273 pound weight loss yep 378 to 105..and i am well pleased it has become easier for me because i have a sense of finally being in charge,,am i happy??? well i don't really know for sure..i think happiness is a very vague term that most of us can't grasp the meaning of..at least not in the terms people tend to define it..happiness for me?? i guess having my needs met and throwing in a few wants on occasion..i am downsizing..that makes me happy and i am stitching..that is extremely satisfying the word happy is so many things and i think i got jaded when i got there and it was not what i thought it was..so i had to sit down and think about it for a long time...i have done lots and gone all over the world..and i find myself content now..i wish the same peace to yourself friend
the lady mary

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LUVTOBOWL 3/22/2013 6:24PM

    I really enjoyed reading this blog. You really hit home and have encouraged and inspired me.

Keep up the great work.

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ACTIONCAT2000 3/22/2013 6:17PM

  This was SO perceptive. I know that I always do better with my weight when I "have my head in the game", because my abuse of food is a desperate attempt to grab some fleeting pleasure that masks the true problems. You are truly an inspiration, and I wish you continued success!

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MPARVAZE1 3/22/2013 4:33PM

    emoticon Inspiring

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PLAYFUL_DRAGON 3/22/2013 3:29PM

    Word.
Thank you.

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SJKENT1 3/22/2013 3:10PM

    I think so often we kid ourselves... I'll be happy if... fill in the blanks. The "If" happens and we may have Happy for a time... but it's really not the source of what makes us happy.

A life long journey to discover the elusive happiness - one step at a time.

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DARE2LIVE2011 3/22/2013 3:04PM

    WOW, this blog post was excellent, you sound like a life coach! So proud of you for going after your own happiness! Look at you! Way to go! emoticon emoticon

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KIMALEE54 3/22/2013 12:48PM

    The heartfelt essence of this blog brought tears to my eyes. It echoed many things my eldest sister has recently shared. In the last few years she has lost 150+ pounds by facing her addictive relationship with food. It was her process that brought me to SparkPeople. I have found my own success here and one of the most valuable experience I've had is reading about the honest reflections from other Sparkers.

Many congrats on your process and thank you so much for sharing.

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FOREVERFITCHICK 3/22/2013 12:40PM

    You are living proof that consistencey and mindful eating work. Congratulations on choosing to love you and choosing to make your "happiness" instead of letting it find you!!! I'm rootin' for you man!


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COFFEEQUEEEN 3/22/2013 12:00PM

    So true. Every word.

Congrats on your physical and psychological successes! Thank you for inspiring me with your frighteningly accurate insight. I'm still working on figuring all the psychological aspects to health. It's a loooong road for some of us. Ha ha

Best wishes on your continued success!!! You are an inspiration!

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CHANTENAY 3/22/2013 10:37AM

    Congratulations! This is awesome! What a turnaround!

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IAMTOLOSE 3/22/2013 10:05AM

    Thank you so much for this post! You pointed out just what I am going through right now. In fact, last night I posted that every time I lose weight, if people start complementing me, I go off my plan. I know I need to work on the inner as well as the outer me. Maybe your words are the kick in the butt I needed.

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1HAPPYSPIRIT 3/22/2013 10:04AM

    emoticon

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CAGMUAHFO2 3/22/2013 9:57AM

    What an awesome blog!! Everything you said is absolutely right!! Thank you so much for sharing!!

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NEWTINK 3/22/2013 9:45AM

    You look amazing and sound even better emoticon

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LIVELIFELONGER 3/22/2013 9:40AM

    What an awesome Inspiration you are! Loved your blog and Congratulations on your continued Success with WL and Doing what makes you Happy. emoticon emoticon

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SIMONEKP 3/22/2013 9:38AM

    Way to go! You are absolutely correct.

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ELSIEC6 3/22/2013 9:32AM

    Two thumbs up!

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NINAB4REAL 3/22/2013 9:28AM

    Totally awesome! emoticon for sharing!

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SPARKBJOK 3/22/2013 9:12AM

    Congratulations! What an inspiration!

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SHAPECHANGER 3/22/2013 9:03AM

    Very inspirational blog, and congrats on your amazing transformation! emoticon

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BUSMOM27 3/22/2013 9:00AM

    emoticon for sharing!

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LTM234 3/22/2013 8:46AM

  Very insightful-great blog. Becoming accountable for our own happiness is a journey we all must make. Thanks for sharing your experience.

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BLONDIE218145 3/22/2013 8:41AM

    Great job ,I really enjoyed reading about you and how far you have come! Thank-you. emoticon

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JENAE954 3/22/2013 8:36AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHARLOTTEDAWN72 3/22/2013 8:23AM

    Congratulations!!!! emoticon emoticon

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JANEMARIE77 3/22/2013 7:18AM

    great blog, wonderful progress This is my favorite line it will go on my quote page thank you "Then your mind isn't fighting against you it is fighting for you. "CLPURNELL Sparkspeople

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MGATES4 3/22/2013 7:08AM

  wonderfully written! Way to go!

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TDEMAIO2 3/22/2013 6:49AM

    All I can say is WOW!!!! emoticon for this blog

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GRANDMAFRANNY 3/22/2013 4:44AM

    emoticon Amazing, absolutely amazing. You can't beat that How wonderful YOU MUST FEEL. tO REACH THAT MILESTONE IN YOUR LIFE. ONLY THING TO SAY GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU STRONG, HEALTHY, HAPPY AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. CONTINUE THE SUCCESS AND STAY WITH SPARKPEOPLE WE NEED YOR CONFIDENCE.

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TENACIOUSTRISH 3/22/2013 4:35AM

    amazing! emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 3/22/2013 2:53AM

    way to go love you are looking awesome.i think i actually replied to ths when you first wrote this but will comment again.congratulations on getting this blog highlighted . emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FLEMIDG 3/22/2013 2:00AM

    Way to go!!! You're a true inspiration. Thanks so much for sharing your insights with us. You are so right. We need to do what makes US happy, not what someone else things we should do. If we don't do it for ourselves, we won't succeed.
Thanks so much for your wonderful blog. Congratulations on your success.
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HETZ51 3/22/2013 1:41AM

  The sad part that as hard as we work to change our eating habits, if we don't change our mindset we may be doomed to return to the unhealthy ways. You have said it the way it is!!

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SWIMLOVER 3/22/2013 1:41AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JGATES69 3/22/2013 1:24AM

  Perfect timing! This was exactly what I needed to read today! Thank you for inspiring me to keep going and to accept myself where I am right now. I deserve to be happy during the journey and stop withholding joy from myself. Awesome! emoticon

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TINASIOU 3/22/2013 12:33AM

    Thank you for sharing your success story - and for such good words of wisdom!!! God bless you!!! xo

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SPARKLINGME176 3/22/2013 12:11AM

    emoticon

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ILIKETOZUMBA 3/22/2013 12:09AM

    Wonderful advice! Thank you for sharing. And congratulations on your weight loss!


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MISSLISA1973 3/21/2013 11:50PM

    emoticon

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POLISHPRINCE1 3/21/2013 11:37PM

  Steve (polishprincesjm) here.

Such words of wisdom. I'm really glad I took the time to read it through!

Although I've not had this problem - I still need to take off 20 pounds. At 5'2" you just can't hide it! Wish me well in my up-coming 21 day detox..... followed by a healthier diet.
(I hope!) I need prayers!

A special congratulations for losing so much weight. A lesser person would have given up! I'm finding some pretty remarkable people on SparksPeople. Am A recent "joiner".

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SASSYTHING52 3/21/2013 11:20PM

    emoticon

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CAROLJ35 3/21/2013 11:09PM

    You can be very proud of your accomplishments!!!
We are proud of you also!!!

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TRISH355 3/21/2013 11:03PM

    good for you! So proud of your heart and your success! Keep up the great work!

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KHALIA2 3/21/2013 10:53PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JSEATTLE 3/21/2013 10:50PM

  You are totally awesome! Keep it going!!! You look so great, I am so proud of you!!

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JAMER123 3/21/2013 10:50PM

    You have done a fabulous job of losing weight and have wonderful insight! I have lost 83# so far and more to go once I break this long, long plateau I have been on! Life's pleasures seem to get in the way of consist exercise:):)
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