Friday, February 01, 2013
So, it's definitely been a while, but I am back! I feel like I am ready to invest myself fully into this process of losing the weight (unfortunately now more weight than last time), but I am even more aware of the need for me to commit to this for the long haul.
It's something I'm struggling with even now, but I the "diet" mentality is what has been giving me trouble for as long as I've been yo-yoing. Weight loss can feel exciting and relieving when I've been overweight and uncomfortable for any period of time. Once I finally get some weight off of me, I usually feel so exhilarated that I celebrate and feel so confident and then eventually lose sight of all the work it takes to keep it up. Even now, I get down on myself when I've had a less-than-stellar food day or week. But that reaction is entirely based on this short-term weight loss diet thing, instead of the idea that I need to find more balance in my relationship with food for the rest of my life.
Balance means an ebb and a flow, good days and bad days, but it doesn't mean drastic swings and extended periods of "checking-out" of mindful eating. But it also doesn't mean rigid intensity where I make myself crazy with every food decision and refuse to deviate from any plan and work with what life is giving me. Because neither of those extremes are actually sustainable.
So, for now, the goal is balance. BALANCE. Even if that means slower weight loss (I had a hard time even writing that). Please remind me of this because I know I will need to be reminding myself constantly!