Friday, February 01, 2013
I'm feeling a little better today. Anyone who's suffered depression knows there are okay days, and there are really bad days. Not very many good ones. Today so far is okay.
I had to drive myself to work today, but that's okay. Needless to say, I'm back at work. No, I didn't lose my job. The boss and I discussed that I didn't make it to the training session, and he's not happy. But I told him what I was hearing when we were discussing it. He told me what he was trying to say. Basically, he's disappointed I didn't find a ride. I told him I don't know who to ask, so that's that. It's not a big deal. Guess he wants me to go in a couple of months.
I got on the scale this morning. More out of curiosity than anything. I wasn't expecting to see a loss - I haven't really been working out. I honestly expected to see a slight gain - no more than 1lb.
I was pleasantly surprised when I saw a loss. I'm down to 231.2. I can't believe it.
I guess all that hard work I put in did pay off. I'm seeing it now.
That's so much more motivating for me to go running after work today. I can see that things are moving in the right direction. Now to keep them moving that way.
The plan is to run after work today with Lulu. It's finally not so bitterly cold that it will hurt me to do it.
Hubby and I are trying to work through our issues from this past weekend. Now that I've discovered just how disconnected I've been, I can see why he's so frustrated and scared. I am too. So we are both working on it. I've asked him to be patient. I need time to heal. And yes, I'm going to be cranky while I do it.
So all in all, it's feeling like I'm making some progress. I need more support for my mental health, but I'm not sure I'll find that here. But if Hubby is willing to help me, I think I can do this on my own.
I know. HUGE difference from a few days ago, isn't it.
I know how to deal with this stuff. I've been doing it all my life. Sometimes I forget that I'm the best one to fix these things. It just feels so overwhelming at times.
My nutrition has been on track. So has my water. Okay, so I could actually stand to drink a little more. I am going to add electrolytes to my "diet" soon too, so that will help stabilize my blood pressure and also help me drink more water as well.
I think I have a plan in place. I can't wait to take a pic of me in the jacket without any pulling across the chest.