Friday, February 01, 2013
It's nearing the end of week one. I have managed to stay off the soda. I have managed at least 10 minutes of exercise. Yesterday, I even got the courage to walk into a gym and sign up! For me that was a MAJOR step. Over the last few years I have been closing myself off from life little by little. I have given up things that I used to love to do. I have lost friends because I don't go out. The truth is I couldn't stand the looks and the snide comments behind my back - you know the ones. The ones that people say quietly in a "loud" voice so you can hear but they are not talking directly to you so they don't feel guilty about making fun of someone...
My experience in walking into the gym was an affirmation of why I quit leaving my house in the first place. I walked in and stood at the counter waiting for one of the three people to acknowledge that I was there. No one did. Finally, when one of them made eye contact with me I smiled and he asked - May I help you? I told him that I was there to sign up for a membership and wanted to know a little more about the gym. He told me that he was the only one there behind the counter to take care of business so I could just talk a walk around the gym alone and when I got back to the front he would give me the rates. This was to be my tour of the place I guess. Seeing his body language and the look on his face and the reluctance to take me around the gym made me feel
Now, at my current weight - and with my back problems there was no way that I could make it all the way around the gym. So my beautiful niece that went with me decided to look around and came to tell me about it. We sat at the sign up tables for almost 30 minutes and still no one came to see about us. I was ready to get up and leave at this point.
BUT, I stayed. This is the most affordable place in town. And my thought was - I am here for me and not for them. So as much as I wanted to cry and as hurt as I felt - I stayed. Someone finally asked if we needed help. We talked about rates and we talked about the gym. I set my mind and signed up. So it begins, ADVENTURE ABOUNDS! And I am still - moving forward.