Friday, February 01, 2013
If there is one thing that makes me want to eat everything in the world, it's something that freaks me out. Whatever that might be, if it's scary enough, I want FOOD. Really bad food, too. And LOTS of it.
I have a job interview this afternoon and I'm not THAT nervous for it but it didn't even cross my mind to log my food until just now and that was after I almost mindlessly purchased myself a big ol' donut.
And that's what it is - mindless eating. Just shoving food into the face. Why do I do that when I'm stressed? Because as I'm just learning how to have a good relationship with it, I've been codependent with it for so long I don't know how to eat it without it being the soothing and calming menace that it is.
At some point, if I keep this up, that codependency will fade over time and I will naturally gravitate toward something else (God only knows what that could be!) to help me zone out and turn off the craziness inside my head.
Isn't that messed up that food has been the numbing agent all this time? Ultimately, this is the core of why I'm fat. But hey! Now I know and knowledge is power! keep my head up! happy friday.