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    DRAGONCHILDE   56,943
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Major drama... and a silver lining.

Friday, February 01, 2013

So, lately I've been dealing with a crapton of stress. To put it bluntly, my husband is an alcoholic, and he's trying to quit. He's been going to AA meetings, and making relatively good progress.

Last night, he fell hard, and put himself and others in danger in a way he NEVER has. And I had to tell him point blank that if I *ever* catch him driving drunk again, I'm done. Drinking irritates me. I hate it, I don't want him doing it. Stealing money from me and buying cheap wine on the sly is bad enough, but forgivable, and something I can control by simply not giving him my debt card.

But driving drunk?

No.

I draw the line there. The risk to life and limb is bad enough, but for very practical reasons, I can't afford a drunk driving citation, he could kill someone else, and honestly? We have *1* car.

So, after I talked to him, he went outside. I told him that I wanted to sleep by myself tonight, so I wanted him to sleep on the couch. He took this to mean (in his melodramatic way) that I don't want him anymore and he's going to be homeless tomorrow. I didn't get drawn into that manipulative crap. So he left. Presumably to take a walk. I didn't ask, and I wasn't about to go chasing him. I'm done playing those games.

I decided that instead of diving into the fridge, I was going for the PS3.

I discovered two things that just made a rather nice silver lining to this situation.

After discovering that the Netflix service I'd be inadvertently paying for the last six months (and haven't been using) has an app on the PS3, so I don't need to rig up an internet connection through my laptop on the XBox. Unfortunately, all the workout videos I used to watch on instant downloading? Gone.

Well crap.

However, I discovered something even more awesome. There's a YouTube app on the PS3!

That means that I can watch MILLIONS of workout videos on my PS3, in my living room!

I did a great Hatha yoga video, 42 minutes.

It felt so good to take care of myself. Now I can access all those Bodyrock.tv workouts, and such.

So if you have any recommendations for good YouTube workouts, drop the link in the comments. I gots options, baby.

After my workout, he wound up coming back in, and sleeping on the couch. I guess sleeping with the dog in near-freezing weather didn't sound like such a smart idea after an hour or so.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERRY_XMAS 2/2/2013 12:13PM

    There is a battle ahead for both of you if you want this relationship to last... He has gone into a hole and only himself can make him get out of there. You are saying the obvious and still he doesn't get it.

Well done for finding another way to spend your time instead of eating. He should really follow your example and find other ways to make him feel satisfied instead of drinking.

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BILL60 2/2/2013 7:58AM

    Wow, unless he sticks to AA, there's not much hope. You'd best think about alternatives for yourself and your family. I will pray for all of you.

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JULESJET 2/1/2013 11:49PM

    Wow. A stressful night with a silver lining indeed!
I like the youtube videos by FitnessBlender
They give a couple of nice options for videos without super annoying instructors.

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1STATEOFDENIAL 2/1/2013 7:23PM

    Be careful thinking that he's consciously manipulating you. More than likely he's not doing it on purpose, though it may feel like it. There are mental health conditions which include having an addictive personality (becoming easily addicted to hazardous and risky behaviors) and an unstable sense of self which appears to others like manipulation. I politely suggest trying to get him into some sort of therapy or mental health program (like DBT) which will help him in many aspects of his life, including to give up drinking.

In the meantime, it's great that you've found more ways to workout and focus on your health. You must take care of yourself so you can help your husband (sometimes that means letting someone else help him while you step back) and be there for your daughter.

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OBIESMOM2 2/1/2013 1:41PM

    geez...we have SO MUCH in common! Next time I head to south GA (technically I guess you are middle GA, but it's south of me!) I may have to meet up with you.

glad you didn't fall for the manipulation (alcoholics are really good at that, aren't they?)

glad you dealt with the stress in your new and improved way

I have ZERO tolerance for drinking & driving. I always told XH (and I've told DH), "if you get nabbed for drunk driving don't waste your one phone call on me. Your a$$ is staying in jail. If you call me to come and get you from a bar, I'll be mad as hell, but I'll come get you. If the cops get you, they can keep you!"

sorry you are dealing with this. Even with better ways to handle it, it's still STRESS. And you just don't need that in your life.
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_MOBII_ 2/1/2013 12:46PM

    I know from a friend of mine who deals with her daughter and AA as well as NA, they do offer counseling for families too. (Not trying to tell you how to deal with it, just suggesting in case you didn't already know)
I am sorry he put himself as well as other into danger, as well as causing you stress... but you did a great job dealing with it!
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CHICCHANTAL 2/1/2013 11:47AM

    Wow, you are brave. I'd have put him out with the dog, no other options.

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SWEETMAHA 2/1/2013 10:44AM

    great job on your big achievement of training your brain a new way to handle stress.i stumbled on this video yesterday and i liked it .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v
=94zFYzIU5hw
keep it up emoticon

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