15,000-19,999 SparkPoints 19,971

****not too proud :( ****

Friday, February 01, 2013

Took my measurements this morning and in the month of January I only lost 2 lbs and 2.4 inches. Yet somehow, in December, during the holidays and celebrations I managed to lose 7lbs. I shouldn't say somehow - I KNOW how. I gave myself a pass. I wrote a blog at the start of January proclaiming to the world that I know longer feel the need to be 170 lbs, that I was going to LIVE and lose slowly preparing myself for maintenance. I got a second job. I didn't track every single meal, every single day. Was I happier in January than in December? No, not really. I was too comfortable in January, complacent. I liked the me I was in December. I had a ball and i worked my butt off and I ate sensibly and then ate with abandon when with my family. I lost over 3 times more weight. So am I disappointed in myself? ABSOLUTELY. And I know I have a lot of Sparkfriends who love to shower me with love, support, optimism. No need today. I am not depressed. I am not sad. I am now focused and alert. I am painfully aware. I allowed myself to have a trial run and it failed. February will be similar to December. I have a big Superbowl party this weekend. The following week I will be hosting a bake sale. The week after that, Derrell and I will be on vacation in LA. During those times, I will have fun and eat with abandon (though that typically means about 200 calories outside of range at max, I have found). On the days leading up to that, I will eat sensibly and chug water. I will workout consistently and on the morning of those chow down fests, I will put in a high intensity workout, burning 700-1000 calories. I can promise you that February will look nothing like january.
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