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So discouraged

Friday, February 01, 2013

I just feel like giving up. I can't seem to find my weight loss groove. I've started going to the gym for the past two months, but still the scale won't budge. If anything, its gotten worse! Although my clothes fit better, so maybe I just gained some muscle, but still!!! Ever month my baby gets older I feel more depressed about the whole thing because I still haven't lost the weight, or am at least on a good streak.

I'm emotional eating again because it just feels like there is nothing for me. I try and take time for myself, but its so hard. Everything is about the baby now and we're planning on having a second and I'm freaking out, because how am I going to manage this? I feel responsible for everyone! My baby, my husband, my 89 year old grandma who has no one else but me, both of our Moms who aren't getting any younger and will start to need more and more help. I feel like such a failure in my career. Performance-wise I'm 28 and I still haven't had a role and I probably never will now that my c-section has destroyed my body. What's the point of trying to get my voice back in shape when I'm just going to get pregnant again? My student numbers are down and I'm considering quitting teaching altogether and just being an office worker. So I just turn to food and stuff my feelings.

Thanks for listening, I just need to get this out. I'm tearing up as I write this. Hopefully I will find my groove some day soon, I'll just keep trying.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Kristen~ I haven't been on Spark much these days but when I saw this come in, I knew I had to at least respond that I want you to know that you are loved and supported. That your feelings have value. YOU have value. BUT... there is so much more to you than your body, your voice, your career, your expectations for accomplishment, your responsibilities - All of which have more value than all together. You are a lovely soul with a care-taking heart. Sometimes it seems to get worse before suddenly it turns around and perhaps this is your day. You are alive and things will continue to move forward, where you move them to is up to you. Search your heart and take just one little step that moves in the direction of your joy. Much love and peace from my heart to yours.
    1843 days ago
    everything will be okay. more and more research points to the fact that scale weight loss is not the indicator you should look at. if the scale upsets you, put it in the closet for awhile. focus on increasing your fitness--the length of time or the intensity you exercise. the rest will follow on after that. covert bailey said a long time ago "fitness equals health". i would add to that, health equals beauty. what you want is to be healthy and nice to look at. fitness will give you both--concentrate on fitness and forget about the weight loss for awhile. find some time each day for fitness and don't worry about the rest--your eating will calm itself down when you are calmer, and exercise is the single most important thing you can do now. it will help you focus and feel more in control. take a deep breath and set your feet on the path again. it will all be okay. hug that baby and give grandmama a kiss and be thankful that your life is full of people to love. all will be well--just keep saying it and it will come true because you will make it so.
    1843 days ago
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