Even though I found and started here on 12/28/12, it might have well been 1/1/13. So, I am one month in and what have I learned, what have I realized, with what I do I continue to struggle?
I have learned it doesn't and won't happen overnight, no matter how many prayers I pray or how many exercises I do or how many carrots I eat. It's simply not going to happen overnight. I finally realized that an analogy that I use while teaching piano is one that I need to accept for myself on this journey.
That analogy is this: When you were very young, did you automatically know how to tie your shoes?
How did you learn? Well, mom or dad usually sat down with you and taught you over and over how to do it. And eventually...
So when I realized I needed to accept my own teaching lesson because it applies to making my life changing journey, it was like a thump on the head. You'd think I would have KNOWN that! But, unless you practice, you won't learn to play an instrument. Unless you try over and over, you won't learn to tie your shoes, tie a tie, swim, ride a bike, skate, a myriad of things that takes patience to learn.
I've learned it takes baby steps. It takes patience. It takes support and encouragement.
I went back and reread most of my blogs. Wow, what a difference a month makes! I still struggle with wanting to eat things from which I KNOW I have to stay away. Wanting my favorite sugar laden, empty calorie drinks, believe it or not, that's actually lessening! I truly feel that this engine is chugging confidently down the track, but reading many of my first handful of blogs was saddening. Oh shoot, I know I'll still mess up but I'm learning and have learned what I need to do ---> Come to Spark!
I have learned so much more but I think one of the most important things that is S...L...O...W...L...Y beginning to sink in is acceptance. Acceptance of where I am now and acceptance that I can accomplish this task with perseverance. But most importantly, acceptance of ME.
Please note: YES this is me, taken today about 5AM, up from bed, no makeup (eeewwwww!), and hair not "done."