Thursday, January 31, 2013
While the logical me knows to not measure success by the numbers on the scale, I swear mine hates me. It's stuck. I know it is. Never mind that I've tested it (using my husband, the cats, a bag of flour, etc.)...when I get on it it's 402. Not 402."something". No, it's 402.0.
So, that's enough of that. I'm doing everything right. I don't need to "switch it up", or exercise more, or drink more water, or or or etc etc etc. What I NEED to do is learn patience and KNOW that I am doing my best and it's GOOD ENOUGH.
I am logging my food, keeping my carbs low, eating healthy food. Cooking all the time because anything processed has too much sodium. One big mug (the can) of Progresso Tomato Basil has almost 1400 mgs? There is no good reason for that!! I yelled "Shut UP!!" at my laptop when I read the stats AFTER I ate it. That's just crazy.
So I learn. ASSUME THE WORST and LOOK IT UP. If I want soup, I need to MAKE soup. No wonder so many people have high blood pressure and heart disease. Forget about the Fast Food...people think soup's healthy but one mug of canned soup and BOOM there's almost my entire sodium allowance for the day. Since I come from a family with high BP, I try to keep my sodium at a max of 1500 mgs a day. If I don't cook my food from scratch, that 1500 mgs is used in no time.
My blood sugar levels are starting to improve and my highs are in the 200s and my lows are in the 100's which is a big difference from where they were a week or so ago. They have a while to go before they are what I need them to be, but I am confident that I will bring them back down to where they were since I'm eating healthy and counting everything.
My therapist asked me if I feel like I hit rock bottom that day I discovered my blood sugar at almost 400 and I said that I really hope so.
I want to live. I want my life back. I made a list of things I miss and things I want so badly to do and it's on my laptop to look at if I decide that food will comfort me.
One thing I keep telling myself that is working is this: NEVER EAT WHEN YOU'RE UPSET. Don't eat when stressed, sad, angry, worried, scared, etc. If I'm not calm, I'm not permitted to eat. That alone will help me so much. It's not easy when you're used to using food for reasons other than nutrition, but I have been warned with my blood sugar and I deserve to be happy and healthy.
So do you.