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    1935MARY   19,337
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints

A horrible thing to say

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Well the weather wasn't as bad here yesterday as some places. Mostly hard winds and rains, no power outages. Today it is colder and warning of black ice, but it is going to warm up and I will go out latter . My husband went to doctor yesterday, with his arm, his shoulder to be exact. A few years ago it started hurting him everyone was saying it was a torn rotators cup . {I think I said that right} after MRI, some exercises and weeks and weeks of doctor visits ,he was told it was arthritis and they gave him a shot. It was on workman comp. It has not bothered him in awhile, So he goes back to get a shot and now they say it is a pinched nerve and he has to get a MRI done and see a neurologist . They must of told him that he was probably going to have to have surgery , because he kept saying he could not take off work for this. We owed to much. Then he said maybe I could get lucky and he would die and I would be out of debt . I said know then I would have to pay for that. He then said I don't think we are in debt that a 100 thousand wouldn't take care of. I was thinking all the debt, well the biggest part is his and if I wanted out of debt I would just get a divorce . I told him this was a horrible thing to say. Then he said he wasn't going to the other appointments they weren't no use. I told him he needed to go because it could be something else, that was the reason for these. He always thinks the worst and always wants someone to pity him. He often goes on pity parties. This would usually bring me down, but I did not let it. I will worry about things when it happens. I just didn't say anything else to him and he finally went to bed. He needs help in so many ways. I love him ,but I don't even think if we were out of debt, that he would be happy. In the mean while ,I will do my thing and carry on and as usual if it is not important or of any value, I will just block him out and say a pray for him . emoticon

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
NIKKICOLE83 2/1/2013 2:35PM

    I am so sorry honey. Those are some harsh things to say. It is hard when the person you love most puts a damper on everything. Just try to stay in your positive mindset and try to be positive around him and when he gets all dark and gloomy either turn his words around to the brighter side or tell him you are not going to be attending his pity parties anymore. Tell him that you want to be happy WITH him.

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CLUMBOY 2/1/2013 9:47AM

    half empty glass people are very hard to live with sometimes--esp. when you aren't one yourself. keep your own glass half full and keep stepping forward. you can only change yourself. i said a quick prayer for you and your hubs. i hope the shoulder issue resolves quickly and easily, and something comes along that eases your debt issues as well. remember what mark twain said--the quote is about age, but it applies to everything in life : "age is an issue of mind over matter. if you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
all the best to you!

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GEORGIEGURLZ 1/31/2013 8:53PM

    Said a Prayer for you and Hubby. Sometimes men have trouble with things like that. Don't want to admit they may not be able to do what they want to do anymore. They are usually saying something entirely different than what is really on their minds.
Mine is always saying he knows he has a disease unknown to man. LOL. Can't help it, it is funny when he says it. He is perfectly healthy.
God Bless.

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THEEXERCISER 1/31/2013 7:02PM

    I wish you and him best of luck

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TATTER3 1/31/2013 6:31PM

    Worry makes me crazy sometimes!!! Keep praying and Sparkin'!!

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JLPEASE 1/31/2013 12:56PM

    Good luck with your husband. Mine won't go to the doctor unless absolutely necessary and then we doesn't listen to what the doctor says anyway. It is very frustrating. I'm sure your husband is very worried too, but this may be the way he deals with things.
Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do to make him go back to the doctor. Take care of yourself!

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BABCIATEA 1/31/2013 11:38AM

    I am praying for you and hubby now emoticon

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DIET_FRIEND 1/31/2013 11:31AM

    I guess he's worried about his shoulder and afraid. I hate going to doctors too.

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KARRENLYNN 1/31/2013 10:27AM

    Applied knowledge is power and you can't apply it till you have it. It sounds like he needs to go back to the doctor to find out exactly what the problem is and to figure out exactly how much and what your debts are, before deciding death is a better option for both of you.

Life can be stressful, but being grateful and happy is always a choice no matter the circumstances. Not borrowing trouble is also a choice. You're doing well.

I hope the results are better than he thinks,

Karen emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 1/31/2013 10:15AM

    emoticon You know that old proverb, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink." Well, in this case, his drinking from the "pity party" well, and YOU are doing a good thing not drinking from it with him. doesn't accomplish anything.


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CAPECODLIGHT 1/31/2013 10:14AM

    I know it's a stereotype, but men seem to be the worst when they aren't feeling well. Sounds like he is taking the ostrich approach to his health and his debt problems.

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PENNYSAVER2 1/31/2013 9:43AM

    emoticon Dealing with our spouses is quite difficult at times.

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