Thursday, January 31, 2013
It is amazing what lack of sleep can do to a person. I was so angry and frustrated with everything yesterday. The night before I got absolutely NO sleep. Last night I got a decent amount of sleep and BAM! I feel more optimistic, I feel more motivated, I no longer feel weak and dizzy, I don't feel panicy (I have panic disorder, and lack of sleep increases the chances of a panic attack). Today I am up and about and ready to teach! I shall pack an apple for breakfast which I usually end up eating as a before lunch snack (I am not an 8am breakfast person). I will have another apple for lunch along with a smart ones/lean cuisine/healthy choice frozen meal, and then my left over chicken for dinner, maybe some cooked veggies.
So the assignment today was writing about where I have trouble with moderation. A couple of months ago my answer would have been EVERYWHERE! Once I started the diet I would not touch anything but then my boyfriend had a bag of Doritos which is a chip I never really cared for and only kinda liked. I started with that. I counted as I ate and did not eat tons. Then I moved onto Goetz Caramel creams, only one a day if that. Then I started with restaurants, only have half my meal and only one, not all, of the complimentary bread. After that I moved onto other small candy, I had a mini reeses cup one day and occasionally I will have 1-2 starburst throughout the day. I have started to have one little thing if I see it in the faculty room or someone offers it to me but no more. I am debating working on drinking next. Right now I will have about two drinks the nights I drink but I might want to make that one and then, eventually, none unless I'm out with friends. I'm still afraid to touch my absolute favorite chips and dip. I wont go near a candy bar. I have not baked cookies for a while. The foods that aren't as good leftover are still difficult not to finish because I was raised in the clean your plate club when at a restaurant. I always ordered too much food and when I didn't want to finish it my father would get angry. Or if I went out to eat and wasn't hungry so I only ordered applesauce, he would get upset. It is hard for me to throw away food.
My action plan is to slowly let some of those foods back into my life and conquer moderation with them one at a time so that once I reach my goal weight I will already have the skills to maintain that weight. Every other time I went on a diet, when I stopped I went full out, eating everything I wanted and missed.
Any way, that's all for now, I gotta get to work. 3rd grade today!