Wednesday, January 30, 2013
so this has been a better week. i have gone to bed hungry most nights and i always see that as a sign of success. that means i'm not gorging myself.
i can thank me for that.
i had a bit of a "Breakthrough" moment in my body works class on monday. it's like cardio with weights. i really like that class because i really feel the burn, during and after. also, this teacher doesn't mess around. so, this is only the second time i've taken this class, but i've been working out at the gym for like 3 months now, and i was still really struggling. and i was getting really upset with myself too. because i mean, how come i STILL can't do this stuff. how come my thigh muscles are STILL pathetic? i don't get it. i was on the verge of tears, thinking to myself, i'm going to be fat forever, i'm never going to be in shape, yet i still pushed through. maybe i didn't do all the repetitions (like she wanted us to) but i didn't walk out and i didn't cry. she kept yelling, "Why are you here?" and i know i'm there to work out and push myself, but god, it's SOOOOOO HARD to get in shape. i mean it's seriously one of the hardest things.
so it was a big moment for me. i mean, i didn't have a great big win or anything, but i was reflective, and i realized i DO have to work harder.
so as a result, i'm not eating to the point of disgust. i'm thinking a little bit more about my food (not 180 turnaround or anything) and i'm thinking i need to get in there to do more cardio on top of the 3-4 cardio classes and strength training i'm already doing. i need to see results. if i don't see results soon, its going to get harder and harder to motivate. i just want to lose some weight already!