Wednesday, January 30, 2013
I was going to do a long post about how frustrated I am today and how hopeless this diet feels. I was also going to talk about how hopeless my working situation feels. Then I realized a few things..
On the working situation: I have three students I tutor, I got a temporary after school job, I picked up a sub job for tomorrow, I am good at what I do, I have had to turn down new clients because I could not fit them into my schedule, and I have had days that more than one school has called to ask me to sub... I have not been working as much because I've been lazy and that just needs to stop.
On the diet situation: I have lost weight, not a lot but it is something. I was able to zip up pants that have been un-zipable since this past summer. I have not gained weight even though I've slipped up. I have gained more willpower over food than I've ever had before, and even though I am cranky, things feel hopeless, and I have not been tracking, when I finish this blog I am going to suck it up and do Zumba wii for at least 30 minutes any way even though I got absolutely no sleep last night and want nothing more than to lay down on the couch and watch more TV.
The thing that has me really worried, I have not eaten today, I am hungry, but I don't want to eat because my weight loss has been slow and I know it'll move faster if I just try not to eat. I've already gone one day with only eating dinner. I've done that sort of diet before, it is so easy, but so unhealthy. I want to do it the healthy way but my frustration is making the easy, unhealthy way so tempting. I'm afraid people will notice my weight loss like last time and no one will realize that I'm not being healthy because they are so distracted by my weight loss.