This time is different for me than any other time I have tried to get healthy and fit. I have struggled with my weigh throughout my adult life. I have been on the roller coaster of "up,up,up, down" for years. I topped out at almost 280lbs about 8 years ago. I slipped into a horrible depression, slept 20 hours a day, did not eat and lost 40 lbs. When I felt better about myself, I worked out and still continued to starve my body while losing another 50lbs. With the weight gone and my confidence up I changed a lot of things in my life for the good. Fast forward 8 years, 1 husband and 2 back to back pregnancies and I am well on my way to becoming that 280lb hollow shell of a woman I was all those years ago.
Thanksgiving 2012 was a deciding point. In October I found a mass in my breast. With my family history of cancer, I just knew it was breast cancer. THANKFULLY it was not, it was fibrocystic tissue. My weight was a contributing factor to developing it. While fibrocystic tissue does not increase my odds of developing breast cancer, it does make detection of tumors more difficult by touch and mammogram. Then, after Thanksgiving with my family, when I saw the pictures of my swollen, chubby face and large stomach, I knew it was time for a change. I devised a new plan, on that would help me lose the weigh the right way while helping me get strong and healthy.
I was not going to start this new life change at the holidays with all the baking and gluttonous eating that comes along with them. However, I did not want to make this a "resolution" to be started at the New Year. I had broken too many promises to myself already, I didn;t want to break another. Instead I decided on December 26.
Instead of me making this goal and working on it alone, I have incorporated a mini team to help keep me accountable for myself and my actions. My 1st team member is my husband. I usually keep my weight loss of fitness goals shrouded in secrecy from him, failing only myself when I quit. Now he knows. The secret is out and if I quit, he will know and that helps to keep me motivated. He loves me the way I am, yes, but I have asked him to not let me cop out of workouts of devour every cookie in the house. His job is gentle reminders. 1 month in and I have found him to be a little soft in his duties... =) That is why...
I have team mate #2 : My fit-hit the gym-run 5ks- jillian michaels like fitness dictator- brother. Ah yes, who would have known that the little fat boy I teased in our youth would dominate the fitness world and run circles around me? He has never said a derogatory word to me about my weight. Quite the opposite, he has been kind and supportive. He offers up workout advice and love. But I let him know that I need his no holds bar approach if he sees me trying to quit myself and he is more than willing to be the gruff-man if necessary. I love him even more for that.
Last, but not least on my team is my bestie. My bestie is not fat anymore after having gastric bypass and losing 160lbs. (and it was in no way the easy way as her medical problems keep growing!) She is the one I can talk to, cry to and let out all the emotion that comes with this journey. She is the one who completely understands where I am emotionally and can offer the softness that I need to get through the tears and layers of myself to find the blossoming flower beneath the weight.
Okay, support team in place. This is a 1st for me, asking others to help me reach my goal. It has left me feeling a little vulnerable, a little exposed and yet a little more surefooted on this journey. And I must be doing something right- I have lost 20lbs in a month. The scale has been stuck at 20lbs for about 5 days now, though. In the past that would have been the excuse I needed to quit, to move on, to give up and slide right back into my old ways. But not this time. This time I have to stay the course because I have a support team that is cheering me on and I don't want to disappoint them.
Keep Sparking Friends. We can do this!
Me and my brother, Corey the Motivator! =)
My bestie & I! Doesn't she look great?? =)
Me and my amazing hubby!