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    PIXIE-LICIOUS   133,500
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Outrageous Kindness

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Wednesday, January 30, 2013



Today is day 33 of my streak!

January is just about done...and as of today there are only 48 days until Spring! I am thinking ahead to where I'd like to be by that time, and what I need to do in order to make it happen. For the first time in years, I am looking forward to warmer weather! Just saying that I am looking forward to something....it brings tears to my eyes. In the past, warmer weather was something I dreaded because it meant putting away the bulky coats and jackets that I wore all winter to "hide" my obese body. In Spring and Summer, I would wear my stretch pants and t shirts, and I would feel so unattractive, so "un-feminine", so fat, so old. Whenever I would go out in public, I would pull my hair back into a ponytail, slap on a baseball cap, and pretend that I didn't care (or didn't know) that I looked so unhealthy, unhappy and so overweight.

But I did care. Behind my smile, I was crying. I was ashamed of how I'd let myself go. And to comfort myself, I'd buy a bunch of junk food, hide it in my purse, and then sneak it into the house....and then eat it in the middle of the night while hubby was sleeping! And every morning, I would wake up just hating myself for being such a weak person. Oh, the names I called myself! I said such horrible, hateful things to myself every day!



Its different this year, though. I look forward to warmer weather, because I am not ashamed of myself anymore. Its not just about looks, its about ATTITUDE. I don't hate myself like I used to. I LOVE myself! No, I don't think I'm the worlds greatest or anything. But I have finally learned the truth...you can't take care of yourself and reach your goals if you don't love yourself.

I have had such a bad past. But I'm tired of living in the shadow of that. My life is ahead of me, and I don't have to be a prisoner of my old thoughts and feelings. I am looking forward with hope and positivity.

"Don't look back - Yesterday is over, today is a brand new day
Don't look back - It's not the answer, no it's not the way
You can't go forward when you keep looking back
How can you think about the future
When you're haunted by the past?
God don't want you to live like that
Put your hand to the plow and don't look back."
("Don't Look Back" by John Schlitt)



February is almost here, and my goal for the month is to be my OWN Valentine! I hereby pledge to treat myself with "outrageous kindness" all month long...and beyond! I will love myself enough to put my health first...I will love myself enough to eat healthy foods (and to weigh and measure them!)...I will love myself enough to exercise and look for ways to add movement to my day...I will love myself enough to keep working hard to make progress!




And when Spring arrives, I will not be at my goal weight....but I will be closer! I will not wear stretch pants or hide underneath a baseball cap. I will smile, and it will be a genuine smile of happiness and pride because I have worked hard, and I know I am worth the effort!





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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LRSILVER 2/1/2013 2:09PM

    I love your blogs. Thank you. You are spectacular. Woo Hoo

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LILY_SPARK 2/1/2013 2:00PM

    I see you have 5 zillion comments but had to say THANK YOU. That top one's amazing!

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MARYHENNIG 2/1/2013 1:58PM

 
awesome

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FISHER011 2/1/2013 1:40PM

    emoticon Love it! emoticon

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FIRECOM 2/1/2013 1:21PM

    Yours is a great example of concentrating on the short term goals along the way to the final goal.

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SUSIE4LYF 2/1/2013 1:07PM

    That is totally amazing. I am in tears just reading this because it's as if you are writing exactly about me. :( I am where you were and this gives me hope. Thank you...

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BUMPS2 2/1/2013 12:35PM

    GO GO GO.... No stopping the brand new YOU! Great job. You are an inspirations.

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SPOOKY_GIRL13 2/1/2013 12:02PM

  Great blog! I can completely relate. No more fearing the warm weather.

Congratulations on your accomplishments! Keep it up! emoticon

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VEGSARA 2/1/2013 11:45AM

    Great job!!!! emoticon

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CLOVER2 2/1/2013 11:44AM

    What a wonderful blog! Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Congrats on your success so far!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRACED777 2/1/2013 11:40AM

    This is truth! Have a great day.

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LINZSUCCESS 2/1/2013 11:39AM

    I sure love that idea of treating yoursefl with outrageous kindness every day! I need to steal that idea. emoticon

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HEALTHYJEANIE 2/1/2013 10:59AM

  Thank you for sharing. This is inspiring!

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MORGANSMOM52 2/1/2013 10:44AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FELINEBETTER 2/1/2013 10:31AM

    YOU GO GIRL!!!!!! emoticon

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KWEEKWEK 2/1/2013 10:20AM

  emoticon

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DEBIGENE 2/1/2013 9:46AM

    Great Blog !!! Thanks

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BUSMOM27 2/1/2013 9:38AM

    emoticon

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SHAKESALOT 2/1/2013 9:29AM

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PENNYPACKER3 2/1/2013 9:08AM

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DEBLYNN323 2/1/2013 9:03AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CYND59 2/1/2013 8:56AM

    Very Good Blog! It reminded me of some things that I really need to consider.
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LEIAWINS 2/1/2013 8:02AM

    thank you so much for sharing... you brought tears to my eyes!! May God bless and help you and may you have a astoundingly incredible spring and summer time. You deserve it!!!!!

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LEANMEAN2 2/1/2013 7:31AM

    Congratulations on that weight loss. Thanks for sharing.

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CLUMBOY 2/1/2013 7:29AM

    nice! very very happy for you. you will succeed and you will enjoy the sunshine. it's your turn. take it and be glad!

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SANDERS6466 2/1/2013 7:28AM

    Thank you for being such an inspiration! I'm starting my day with a smile! emoticon

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ROSE284 2/1/2013 6:34AM

    This was like a gut punch and yes, I absolutely needed to read it. I love the idea of being my Own Valentine and Outrageous Kindness to myself for a whole month is an exciting and scary prospect but I'm definitely going to try it.

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GRAMPIAN 2/1/2013 6:19AM

  Great! emoticon

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LIFETIMER54 2/1/2013 6:06AM

  emoticon emoticon

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IMEMINE1 2/1/2013 4:31AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Blog. emoticon

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LUANN7 2/1/2013 3:12AM

    FOR HEAVEN SAKES YOU DESCRIBED HOW I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF LIKE YOU WERE LOOKING INTO MY SOUL. I JUST STARTED SP ON 1/6 AND I HAVE LOST 1 POUND AND 3.5 INCHES. i AM STARTING TO FEEL POSITIVE AND I AM MOTIVATED . I READ THE SPARK AND TONS OF SUCCESS STORIES, I HAVE SPENT HOURS ON THIS SITE-I LOVE IT AND EVERYONE HAS WELCOMED ME AND MOTIVATED ME LIKE CRAZY. i AM BEGINNING TO BE VERY HAPPY ALTHOUGH I SILL LOOK AT MYSELF AS FAT AND UGLY- MAYBE THAT WOULD CHANGE IF I LOST SOME MORE WEIGHT I AM A LITTLE FRUSTRATED IN THAT DEPARTMENT.I AM TELLING YOU THIS BLOG MEANT A LOT TO ME-YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WALKMYWAYTOFIT 2/1/2013 2:38AM

    What a great post.... and a super idea for being your own Valentine and loving yourself enough to take care of yourself.... this we all need to hear and do!

Way to go and way to tell it. emoticon emoticon

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NADINEL 2/1/2013 2:08AM

    Thank you, Pixie. Great words to live by. Now I need to do that.

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BLUEJEAN99 2/1/2013 1:57AM

    emoticon

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JERICHO1991 1/31/2013 11:10PM

    John Schlit, that's a name from the past! Thanks for the blog.

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BHANDDT 1/31/2013 10:59PM

    emoticon

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1MYSTERY_LADY 1/31/2013 10:02PM

    emoticon

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JAMER123 1/31/2013 9:44PM

    Fantastic attitude!! Tomorrow is not any more!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUNEAU2010 1/31/2013 9:18PM

    emoticon

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MJ7DM33 1/31/2013 9:13PM

  Great blog! WTG!!!

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SHOAPIE 1/31/2013 9:10PM

    emoticon

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A-DAY-AT-A-TIME 1/31/2013 8:42PM

  emoticon emoticon

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MSROZZIE 1/31/2013 7:16PM

    I enjoyed reading your blog and loved the words of motivation. With your drive, determination and positive mental attitude you are already a success. Spark On! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KALEWINE 1/31/2013 6:15PM

    So inspiring! emoticon

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TPETRIE 1/31/2013 5:46PM

  Awesome Blog. Be proud of the accomplishments you have made and don't look back. Put on a beautiful smile and enjoy every moment.

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WEGENERCS 1/31/2013 5:46PM

    You continue to make a difference. So just keep doing what you are doing!

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KARRENLYNN 1/31/2013 5:27PM

    I've done a lot of those things too. I love loose clothes, one because they're comfy and also because I "feel" hidden. I know you can't hide 100 lbs no matter what you wear..........

I'm so glad you're taking care of yourself, and the idea of treating yourself like your own best Valentine is pretty awesome. I never thought of it that way. Especially since I'm single, there isn't anyone calling me their Valentine.

Have a great weekend!

Karen emoticon

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FITBIZZZ 1/31/2013 5:21PM

    Great job. Great attitude. I think you rubbed off on me today. OUTRAGEOUS! ;-)

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ALIDOSHA 1/31/2013 5:16PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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