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Outrageous Kindness


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Wednesday, January 30, 2013



Today is day 33 of my streak!

January is just about done...and as of today there are only 48 days until Spring! I am thinking ahead to where I'd like to be by that time, and what I need to do in order to make it happen. For the first time in years, I am looking forward to warmer weather! Just saying that I am looking forward to something....it brings tears to my eyes. In the past, warmer weather was something I dreaded because it meant putting away the bulky coats and jackets that I wore all winter to "hide" my obese body. In Spring and Summer, I would wear my stretch pants and t shirts, and I would feel so unattractive, so "un-feminine", so fat, so old. Whenever I would go out in public, I would pull my hair back into a ponytail, slap on a baseball cap, and pretend that I didn't care (or didn't know) that I looked so unhealthy, unhappy and so overweight.

But I did care. Behind my smile, I was crying. I was ashamed of how I'd let myself go. And to comfort myself, I'd buy a bunch of junk food, hide it in my purse, and then sneak it into the house....and then eat it in the middle of the night while hubby was sleeping! And every morning, I would wake up just hating myself for being such a weak person. Oh, the names I called myself! I said such horrible, hateful things to myself every day!



Its different this year, though. I look forward to warmer weather, because I am not ashamed of myself anymore. Its not just about looks, its about ATTITUDE. I don't hate myself like I used to. I LOVE myself! No, I don't think I'm the worlds greatest or anything. But I have finally learned the truth...you can't take care of yourself and reach your goals if you don't love yourself.

I have had such a bad past. But I'm tired of living in the shadow of that. My life is ahead of me, and I don't have to be a prisoner of my old thoughts and feelings. I am looking forward with hope and positivity.

"Don't look back - Yesterday is over, today is a brand new day
Don't look back - It's not the answer, no it's not the way
You can't go forward when you keep looking back
How can you think about the future
When you're haunted by the past?
God don't want you to live like that
Put your hand to the plow and don't look back."
("Don't Look Back" by John Schlitt)



February is almost here, and my goal for the month is to be my OWN Valentine! I hereby pledge to treat myself with "outrageous kindness" all month long...and beyond! I will love myself enough to put my health first...I will love myself enough to eat healthy foods (and to weigh and measure them!)...I will love myself enough to exercise and look for ways to add movement to my day...I will love myself enough to keep working hard to make progress!




And when Spring arrives, I will not be at my goal weight....but I will be closer! I will not wear stretch pants or hide underneath a baseball cap. I will smile, and it will be a genuine smile of happiness and pride because I have worked hard, and I know I am worth the effort!





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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CATNCAG 9/14/2013 12:19PM

    Congrats on your awesome weight loss! I am so glad u love yourself! That is something I am in the process of learning! U make a great role model!
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SUPERSYLPH 7/20/2013 11:36AM

    Go you! Love yourself!

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WHITEANGEL4 5/2/2013 9:23PM

    Wonderful....great blog

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LORIVIOLA 4/3/2013 10:20AM

    emoticon
thanks for sharing!

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NASFKAB 3/26/2013 6:23AM

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MONTREAL12 2/25/2013 11:41AM

  A beautiful testament to your future. You are so right. We cannot undo the past; however, we can influence and even change our future. In addition a story such as yours has a direct impact on all who have the privilege of reading. Thank-you for your courageous sharing of your personal journey towards accepting and loving oneself! I hope that you had a great valentine's day and that Spring, which is less than a month away, proves welcoming emoticon

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EFFRAYECHILDE 2/19/2013 8:36AM

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JOANNHUNT 2/16/2013 11:54PM

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FRABBIT 2/8/2013 9:30AM

  Way to go! Keep up that great attitude! It is inspiring!

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KRISTASOCEAN 2/8/2013 9:15AM

    So Inspiring! I am going to try to apply this to myself as well. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HYATTI1 2/7/2013 12:56AM

    Well of course you are going to get a lot of comments on this blog...Loving yourself no matter what is the number one objection or obstacle you have to reach in order to accomplish anything. So my dear you are well on your way to a better life. Congratulations and thank you for sharing your thoughts through this blog.

Joanna

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KRISKECK 2/6/2013 9:01PM

    I borrowed your idea and decided to be my Valentine this month too! Thank you!!

Kristin

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KRISKECK 2/5/2013 1:46PM

    Beautiful blog....thank you!

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TAFODIL24 2/4/2013 7:39AM

    You are so beautiful ~ thank you for sharing & keeping me inspired
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TUBJUMPER 2/3/2013 10:59PM

    emoticon m emoticon emoticon

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LAKOTALADY 2/3/2013 8:09PM

    How inspiring!! Thanks for an uplifting blog. Keep up the awesome work!!!
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MANDAROSE80 2/3/2013 7:42PM

    emoticon Thank you for posting. Your posts are always inspiring.

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CHRISGORGME 2/3/2013 2:39PM

    Treat myself with outrageous kindness for a whole month...hmm I like the idea!! Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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MELAFYAIYAI 2/3/2013 12:38PM

    emoticon

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PENNYPACKER3 2/3/2013 12:36PM

    emoticon

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MANILUS 2/3/2013 12:25PM

    The ultimate is loving ourselves, way to go!

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PAWSINAZ 2/3/2013 12:05PM

    emoticon

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WILSON1926 2/3/2013 10:15AM

    emoticon emoticon
you motivate me every day
michael

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DEFININGMYSELF 2/3/2013 8:33AM

  So great, love your post. Enjoy the spring and summer. You deserve all good things. God bless you :)

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LIFETIMER54 2/3/2013 7:57AM

  emoticon emoticon

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WENDYSWEIGHTWAR 2/3/2013 5:01AM

    Awesome :) and true, thank you for sharing!

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KERI414 2/3/2013 1:41AM

  Very inspirational!

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NLYR20 2/2/2013 11:09PM

  emoticon That's Wonderful!!

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RISAMEANSLAUGH 2/2/2013 7:42PM

    Keep up the good work! You're right, love is stronger than hate -- so keep loving yourself!!

Riisa emoticon

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CHERYLSBUTT 2/2/2013 6:03PM

    Good for you
Love is so much more fulfilling than hate
be kind to others and they will helpyou be kind to yourself!!!

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REDSAGEBETH 2/2/2013 5:59PM

  What a great outlook! Thanks for sharing.... emoticon

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LIFETIMER54 2/2/2013 10:06AM

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GOD-IM-TIRED 2/2/2013 8:37AM

    You are such an inspiration!!
Thank you for posting!! emoticon

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FITMOMINNJ 2/2/2013 7:30AM

    Love this blog, especially about being your own valentine:) emoticon emoticon

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JOYFULROAD 2/2/2013 12:34AM

  What a lovely blog - I totally get where you are coming from, I have been down the same road but NO MORE! i am now committed to being my own best friend, no more abuse - lots of love - outrageous love - going to start using that word - thank you for sharing

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LADYMARCIA1 2/2/2013 12:02AM

    Been there. Great blog, thanks. emoticon

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GRAMMAP1 2/1/2013 11:25PM

    71 lbs. is fabulous. emoticon Your one paragraph about self hate descibes me totally, but I am working on that. Thanks for your insights and a fine blog! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KRISTY927 2/1/2013 10:28PM

    great blog! very inspiring emoticon emoticon

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LYNNIERN 2/1/2013 10:26PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Great blog, I think you've hit the heart of the matter...., it's all about taking care of ourselves! Thanks for being so inspiring!!
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DRB13_1 2/1/2013 10:09PM

    "outrageous kindness" - LOVE that! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LAINIESNEWLIFE 2/1/2013 9:41PM

    Great blog again, Pixie!! Love all the quotes!!

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GODSBEST 2/1/2013 7:45PM

    Great blog. Especially like treating myself with "outrageous kindness" all month as I reach my goals. Love it.


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ROBB1N 2/1/2013 7:05PM

    I love your attitude!

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BUBBASIS 2/1/2013 6:45PM

  I am just starting out and this was such a inspiration to me. I have felt this way for years.

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AURORAMILLET 2/1/2013 5:13PM

    AWESOME!!!!!!!!

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NEWTINK 2/1/2013 3:35PM

    Great Idea .... emoticon

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RORYLYONS 2/1/2013 3:04PM

    You are such a treasure Pixie.....you speak volumes to all of the spark family. You are a success story..... emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KATHRYN74 2/1/2013 2:52PM

    emoticon
Keep going.
The positive thoughts help too.

When you start being able to love the YOU both the inside and the physical, that's amazing!

ALL the best emoticon


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JAMESU2 2/1/2013 2:30PM

  athank you for posting such a good post. I have often felt the same way also. I refuse to by a new swimming suit because of the way I look right now. So I am trying to loose weight before I buy a new one. Keep up the good work.

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 2/1/2013 2:25PM

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