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Annual exam anxiety

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Tomorrow is my annual exam. I am anxious about it. I have a great doctor and I know that he wont say anything to make me feel ashamed that since my last appointment I haven't lost any more weight and, I may even be up a pound or two, but I am anxious about feeling like I have disappointed him. Add one more thing to the list of things I feel anxious and stressed about. Now that I have internet back at home, I WILL be better about tracking and blogging. Keeping in mind I have to track food should help me keep a bit of control. That is my theory. I don't know what happened to the resolve and control I felt last Feb/march and even into the summer, but I feel like all of that is gone and I can't seem to wrap my brain around healthy habits I had for a long time.

So the scale has not been very nice to me the last two weeks. I do weigh myself most every day. I am usually expecting about what it tells me. These past 10 days or so it goes up and down by 3-5 pounds almost daily. WTHeck?! I know that i haven't actually gained 5 pounds in a day..but wow. That may also be part of my anxiety for the doctor. He does always ask what my scale says, so he can track how I am doing more than just their scale fully clothed with shoes.

I am pretty proud that when I take my metformin and have reasonable control of what I am eating my blood sugar numbers are quite good. I stay under or in the very low 100s. This is good. When I don't take it really well, I do migrate a bit higher, but taking meds has been on my list of things to improve on. Putting myself back at the top of the list has been tough. I am getting there, I am being more successful at getting to the gym or popping in a video, but I do need to improve on this. Exercise is a great way to work out stress and anxiety. I just dont seem to take the time or make the time to do it. I had planned to go before work at least twice a week. That hasn't happened since the first week of the quarter before I got sick.

So here is the point in my blog where I shamelessly request supportive thoughts and comments to help get me out of my slump. Anything you got would be helpful. Thanks!
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_MOBII_ 1/30/2013 1:27PM

    My control up and disappeared for a few weeks also, its slowly coming back, yours will too, just hang in there! Hope your doctors visit went ok...I am another one of those with a daily pill thingy. If you don't have one of those, maybe you can set an alarm on your phone to remind you or put a post-it note on the bathroom mirror or somewhere you will see it every day.

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ATTACKFATCAT 1/30/2013 12:23PM

    Try not to stress too much about the doctor. The fact that you have maintained the weight you HAVE lost is a great thing and not easy to do at all. You still have that healthier mindset in place, even though you may not fully be in "weight-loss" mode. You've had a lot going on, and you are successful in that you didn't spend the time putting all the weight (and then some) back on. Doctors may grumble, but they do not see your every day life and they don't always understand the struggles you have. My doctor was after me to lose weight for years and last time I saw him, I smugly waited for him to say something about my 50 pound loss (at the time). He didn't say a WORD! I'm pretty sure if I had brought it up, the jerk would've been like, "ok, but you still have more to lose." So try not to worry about his reaction too much and be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished.

If your plan isn't working, try changing it or starting out small. Make a goal that you take your Metformin every single day. Set an alarm on your phone for it. Set it as a separate goal in your tracker or make a SparkStreak tracker for how many days in a row you take it.

If you can't exercise before work twice a week right now, try just once the first week for about 20 minutes. Then increase it gradually. If you can't do it that way, put in a video when you get home or do a SP 10-minute workout.

I know my resolve and ability to go full throttle is NOT the same as it was last August or even the time before that. To keep from setting myself up for failure (or burning out as I did before), I'm trying a different method this time. I'm impatient, but I know gradually upping my workouts and lowering my calorie intake will likely help me stick with this for the long run. If all you can do right now is focus on healthy choices for this week or for today, then do that. Worry about tomorrow or next week when it gets here. Just do something healthy today, whether it's exercise, nutrition, or taking your medication. Once you have a few of these under your belt, you'll likely feel motivated to try more.

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Comment edited on: 1/30/2013 12:24:09 PM

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NELLJONES 1/30/2013 8:21AM

    Keeping your blood sugar under control is essential!! Please don't do what my hubby did: eat whatever he wanted, ending up having 3 strokes. Damage from diabetes is irreversible, but medication and diet can keep the damage from happening in the first place. As far as the doc visit, your weight is what it is, and the poor guy only has the data presented to him at a brief visit. Of course he will tell you to lose weight: it's right in the doctor manual. It's not a judgement, but reading from the script. As far as taking your medication regularly, maybe you need a wife. (I think that was the name of an old Germaine Greer sketch.) I am the one who keeps hubby taking his meds on time, and I rely on those pill containers so I can glance at it and know what pills he has taken and what is coming up. And he has a LOT of pills, the result of too many years ignoring his diabetes. His father died of diabetes back before there was any medication available. As the years roll by, you'll be very glad you did.

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ADARKARA 1/30/2013 8:13AM

    I have an 'old lady' pill case too, like Enderli! I keep a weeks worth of pills all ready, and the day of the week clues me in to whether or not I've taken my day's pills.

As for the doc exam, you have had so much going on in the past 6 months, its amazing you've gotten anything done at all! As long as you get back to it, and give him a plan, I'm sure he won't lecture you.

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ENDERLI 1/30/2013 7:46AM

    First off...don't stress over the Doc's. They will be supportive of you, or should be, and if healthy was easy...they would be out of work.

I think access to the internet will help you with the logging the food. I also think you might want to "plan" an activity to complete the next day. Even if it's small....for example:
"Tomorrow I will take the stairs to my morning meeting" That's what I've been doing and now 3 months later it's "Tomorrow I will ride the bike for 30 min" it's worked it'self into bigger goals.
Third, I take Metformin as well. I used to have terrible GI issues. I switched to "Glumetza" which I take two pills in the AM and that's it. I still will forget them here and there, but I also have an old lady pill box with the days labled. That way I know if I took it already or not. Fill the pill box on Sunday's and leave it next to your toothbrush.
The metformin will help you lose the weight. Your body needs a consistent level of insulin, and you will get that by consistently taking your meds. I know it's hard...trust me. It's taken me YEARS to get into a rythym of taking it, and I will still screw up!
Good Luck!
We are here for you.
xo
Enderli

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