Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Tomorrow is my annual exam. I am anxious about it. I have a great doctor and I know that he wont say anything to make me feel ashamed that since my last appointment I haven't lost any more weight and, I may even be up a pound or two, but I am anxious about feeling like I have disappointed him. Add one more thing to the list of things I feel anxious and stressed about. Now that I have internet back at home, I WILL be better about tracking and blogging. Keeping in mind I have to track food should help me keep a bit of control. That is my theory. I don't know what happened to the resolve and control I felt last Feb/march and even into the summer, but I feel like all of that is gone and I can't seem to wrap my brain around healthy habits I had for a long time.
So the scale has not been very nice to me the last two weeks. I do weigh myself most every day. I am usually expecting about what it tells me. These past 10 days or so it goes up and down by 3-5 pounds almost daily. WTHeck?! I know that i haven't actually gained 5 pounds in a day..but wow. That may also be part of my anxiety for the doctor. He does always ask what my scale says, so he can track how I am doing more than just their scale fully clothed with shoes.
I am pretty proud that when I take my metformin and have reasonable control of what I am eating my blood sugar numbers are quite good. I stay under or in the very low 100s. This is good. When I don't take it really well, I do migrate a bit higher, but taking meds has been on my list of things to improve on. Putting myself back at the top of the list has been tough. I am getting there, I am being more successful at getting to the gym or popping in a video, but I do need to improve on this. Exercise is a great way to work out stress and anxiety. I just dont seem to take the time or make the time to do it. I had planned to go before work at least twice a week. That hasn't happened since the first week of the quarter before I got sick.
So here is the point in my blog where I shamelessly request supportive thoughts and comments to help get me out of my slump. Anything you got would be helpful. Thanks!