Tuesday, January 29, 2013
So I didn't have a satisfying dinner because what I normally eat at the dining place wasn't available so I had something else and then went like WOAH MORE CALORIES THAN I THOUGHT so I couldn't eat as much as I wanted to. And i ended up complaining to my roommates because i'm feeling lonely/frustrated, and i worry that I made them frustrated. We were talking about exercise and they were trying to help, but it's so difficult for me already and having to shoot down their ideas probably made them less likely to help me. And i can't lie and say that I like exercise of any sort because I don't. I'm always going to be in a bad, frustrating position and I feel bad talking about it because I worry that I'm just going to make them frustrated and then they will just give up on me.
And there's the crux of the matter. I'm worried that if I confide in people that my problems will just be too much and too frustrating and they will give up on me. Because it's frustrating to me too.
This whole weight this is hard to do on my own, but I'm afraid to confide in my friends. Sometimes, like tonight, I let it slip that my health is bad so I have to do it, because otherwise the answer is going to be "just eat what you want" and stuff like that.