Tuesday, January 29, 2013
I gained a pound this week. That was unfortunate, but almost expected as I didn't track everything the way I needed to.
And today I finally heard back from the search committee that I wasn't selected for a job I applied for, for next school year. So that was disappointing, but I think everything happens for a reason and I just applied for a job that I'm really passionate about a few days ago, so I'm crossing my fingers that I didn't get the first job so that I could have a chance at this new position.
Finally, I've been having a bit of a lower self esteem week. I'm planning the spring break trip for myself, JD and some of our friends. Of course, my friends I'm going with are smaller than me and look great in bathing suits. I'm excited to be in the 180s but unfortunately, my weight loss has left me with some extra skin that is just not attractive in any type of bathing suit.
I know it was silly to think "I'll lose 90 pounds and look AWESOME in a bikini." I'm still overweight and I still have a lot of problem areas. My friends are amazing and would do anything to make me feel comfortable, but I've always been the big friend and even 90+ pounds down, I'm still the largest friend.
I keep looking for bathing suits and feel like I should purchase a maternity suit for women who've just had babies to hold all my stuff in. It's just a bit depressing.
I'm not trying to throw a pity party. I just don't want my blogs to portray me as this Amazing girl who's never faced challenges or had down days.
I'm a real person, and I've been blessed with the amazing weight loss I've had so far. I need to keep pushing on and get through these down days.
I know I can do it because I have the support of all my SparkFriends like you. :)
Thanks for reading :)