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BLUEROSE73
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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

It's been a very long week. If you've read my last blog, you will know why hubby and I are having problems. They are not getting any better.

I'm also struggling to get out and do what I need to do for my fitness. Yesterday, I was so depressed, I just went home and straight to bed. No supper. No bath. No fitness.

It wasn't good.

I can't keep doing that.

Today I HAVE to get out. Either to the gym or running after work. Either one is okay. As long as I do something.

I can't get upset by the results I didn't get with the work I didn't do. How do I expect to ever get this back on track if I let these things knock me right off???

Besides, I really felt bored last night. Bored and ashamed. Ashamed that I didn't do what I needed to do to get the job done.

The plan for tonight is either the gym or running, supper, then off to the gym to practice dancing. I've got 6 weeks before I should get back to see Richard. I need to KNOW the stuff he challenged me with this past weekend. The better I know it, and can feel it, the faster I'll progress onto something more with my dancing.

As for hubby, we still aren't really talking. I don't even know who to talk to him. I'm so upset by it all, I just want to walk away.

But then I realize what I'd be loosing. I don't know.

Why am I so confused? Maybe as good as this all is, it's just not a right fit for me. Or am I just sabotaging things because for once they are good????

I hate this.

I really need to turn my mind to better things. Find the beauty in everyday things around me again. Pull myself out of this funk.

It's my birthday in a couple of weeks. Just under 3 actually. It's a big one. Maybe that's what's bothering me?

I really don't know anymore. All I know is I'm very very sad.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JULESJET
    emoticon emoticon
    1337 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    He's got to be willing to compromise and make some changes too. If he's just not interested in making the change you need him to, then you need to decide if it's something you can live with or if it truly is a deal breaker. I don't blame you for not talking to him right now though. Been there and done that.

    Focus on you, go to the gym, go running, celebrate your birthday, and try to find a way to talk to hubby. Not a big order at all now is it? (Once again I wish to the powers that be for a sarcasm font - one font available to all that everyone, universally recognizes as such).
    1337 days ago
  • LITTLE_QUEEN
    PLEASE DON,T BE SAD, AND CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTHDAY IN A BIG WAY MAKE IT AN OCCASION, NOW YOU NEED TO GET OUT AND TAKE A NICE RUN, I THINK I HAVE BEEN MISSING LOTS OF YOUR BLOGS AS I SEEM TO BE MISSING SOME INFO ON THINGS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE

    NOW YOU CHEER UP YOUNG LADY AND AGE IS ONLY A NUMBER
    1337 days ago
  • CASSCOTT70
    So sorry to read of the troubles you're having. I have never been married, or even had a serious boyfriend, so I don't know what to tell you when it comes to your husband, but I know that nothing can change or happen without communication, and I do not know any of the back-story, but I'm all for not letting things go on for too long, talk to him and maybe then you will start to feel better.
    1337 days ago
  • CMV12V
    Hang in there, concentrate on yourself. Yes I know it is easier said than done, put your husband on the side burner for a week and do what you need to do for you. It will help clear your mind. it sounds simple, but hard to do but it works.
    1337 days ago
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