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    PIXIE-LICIOUS   138,893
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I've Been in Denial


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Tuesday, January 29, 2013



Today is day 32 of my streak!

I am co-leader of a great team called Rootin' for Ruby. Today, one of the other leaders of the team (Healthyhappydeb) posted a discussion topic and she asked, "Do you think you could be in denial regarding any aspect of your issues with weight?"

My first instinct was to answer that question "no." But something made me pause. I took a moment to think that question over....and I realized that the answer was actually "yes." I have been in denial.

For weeks now....actually, MONTHS....I have been saying that I am at a plateau, and that I don't know why. But today, I really was honest with myself. No more denial. I know why I'm at a plateau. I haven't wanted to face it or admit it to myself. But I have been sabotaging myself.

Although I know how important it is to weigh and measure my food, I have not really been doing that with any regularity. Oh, I break out the food scale or the measuring cups & spoons every once in a while, but most of the time I just make "guess-timates." And I lie to myself. I say "Oh, that looks like a tablespoon of peanut butter", but in reality it is more like two tablespoons, or maybe even three. Or I say "That looks like a one cup serving" but deep down inside I know its a bit more.



I have lied to myself by saying "a little bit more won't matter in the long run." And that might be true, if the "little bit more" was just every once in a while. But its not. Its an every day occurrence. A little too much for breakfast...a little too much for lunch....a little too much for dinner. And it all adds up to a LOT too much.

Another way I have been sabotaging myself is that I have become lazy with tracking my food. I have been in denial about that, telling myself that I don't need to track my food, because I know how much I'm eating.



And the sad thing is, I know better. I KNOW I need to measure and weigh my food. I KNOW I need to track my meals. I exercise every day, but exercise is not a free pass to over eat. Sure, the food I eat is healthy food. I have eliminated junk food from my daily diet. But even eating healthy food can make you gain weight (or put you at a plateau) if you eat too much.




Its time for me to stop living in denial. I know what I want; I want to keep losing weight, I want to be healthy, I want to be fit and strong. And I know what I need to do in order to make it happen; I need to measure my portions, I need to track my food, and I need to stop lying to myself about how much I am eating.



I have lost 71 lbs since last March, so I'm a long way from where I started, but I still have a long way to go to get to where I want to be. And I will never get there if I don't start getting my nutrition in line. Starting today, I am going to do the things I know I need to do to get over this plateau.

Starting today, I will remember what my ultimate goal was when I started this journey last March, and that was to be as HEALTHY as I possibly can be.



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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
HEARTS116 1/30/2013 10:43AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EBURGITE 1/30/2013 10:39AM

    i'm right there with ya, sister. i started tracking again on sunday...it's eye-opening! you've got this! emoticon

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KENSHO 1/30/2013 10:34AM

    Wow. I needed to read this today. Thank you.

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JOANNHUNT 1/30/2013 10:19AM

    Awesome BLOG! Some of the comments are sooo true. I hear you with the sabatage thing. I find myself doing it all the time. I have only kept off 17.4 pounds in a year because I sabataged myself with pizza, chocolates and cinnamon almonds. I need to pick myself up and be more strong. I started SPARK PEOPLE on January 22, 2012 weighing in at 256 pounds. Today I weighed 238. 6 pounds. We need to hold ourselves accountable for our actions and overcome our disapointments in ourselves. YES WE DO! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KARRENLYNN 1/30/2013 10:02AM

    Great topic ! I would say for me at least the underlying question is why am I suddenly sabotaging my goal to be lean strong and healthy? For my I think the answer comes down to thinking I'm going to be getting unwanted attention I've never had before. For an extremely shy and introverted person, that's intensely scary. I guess I have to decide I want to be lean, strong, and healthy more than I don't want the expected attention.

Have a great day!

Karen emoticon

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BARB5970 1/30/2013 10:02AM

    Ouch! The truth hurts! I've been angry and frustrated that the numbers on the scale are not moving down. I complain about doing all the right things and not seeing results, but as you said, I haven't truly been honest about my efforts. Thanks for sharing. I really needed to have a reality check.

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CLAYARTIST 1/30/2013 9:43AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SIMONEKP 1/30/2013 9:09AM

    I feel your pain, I've been there and back a million times. Today must be a day of difficulties. I'm struggling with a very strong urge to over eat.

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ROCKYCPA 1/30/2013 9:06AM

    Good for you! You know what needs to be done and what you need to do to achieve your goals. You will be successful!

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NEWMOM20121 1/30/2013 8:49AM

    You can do it. Stay focused on what you know works.

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TRACIE-C 1/30/2013 8:46AM

    really an excellent post!!!
before sp i never measured (or tracked food) now i am so untrusting of my 'eye balling it' measuring skills i am afraid not to measure (or track).

i even thought a few days ago... how long it this measuring business going to go on! it's madness!!!
and then i thought... no madness was how i felt before i got my health back.
honestly if it means this is what i have to do to stay on track then i will do it!

healthy wishes xx


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WALLINMW 1/30/2013 8:45AM

  Keep pushing!

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WE_PA_FIT 1/30/2013 8:44AM

    guilty as charged!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't out train poor nutritional choices....

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DJSHIP46 1/30/2013 8:43AM

    Thank you... I'm sure this is what I'm doing to, but haven't figured out how to redirect myself emoticon Your honesty is good for me... thanks again for sharing!!!

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NEPTUNE1939 1/30/2013 8:32AM

    emoticon

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MOMMY445 1/30/2013 8:08AM

    what a great blog! glad to hear that you came to terms with this,Pixie! have a wonderful day!

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TKOVACH1 1/30/2013 8:03AM

    Great blog! It got me thinking I need to get back to measuring and stopping the eyeballing. emoticon emoticon

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MIMIDOT 1/30/2013 7:54AM

    Great blog! I made me sit up and take notice of what I'm doing, or not doing. I have been very slack with doing the right things lately. And it is starting to show. I've got to get back on track. Thanks for waking me up!

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BECKYANNE1 1/30/2013 7:53AM

    Way to Go! emoticon

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GARDENCHRIS 1/30/2013 7:48AM

    good blog.

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CYDNEYLEECH 1/30/2013 7:43AM

    Great job losing the weight you have already lost. Since you took this step, of realizing that you were sabotaging yourself, I am sure you can attain your goals. Just keep being honest with yourself.

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NILLAPEPSI 1/30/2013 7:42AM

    You are so right. I needed this today. emoticon

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PATTYSPENCER 1/30/2013 7:40AM

    Hummmm - has a ring of truth for me - lol - will have to put this on my "things to think about" list and see what I'm doing (or not doing) and see what I might need to change.

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OFGREENGABLES 1/30/2013 7:37AM

    so easy to say, so hard to do!

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PENOWOK 1/30/2013 7:34AM

    I have done the same thing. I had 5 months of having no access to my weighing and measuring food and significantly less SP access but I have it now and have for a month, and need to get back on it! Thanks for the reminder!! Great blog!

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LOLABLACK69 1/30/2013 7:25AM

    It's great to find the problem and be able to realize it. If you ask me, that's half of the solution. And the other half is to work at it. From the looks of it, I think you won't struggle with other part, unlike me, so - I'm sure you'll solve everything and get back on track easily! I'm rooting for you! emoticon emoticon

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BESSHAILE 1/30/2013 7:09AM

    Yep. We're all walking in your shoes, too. I know why I'm not at goal and it's certainly not because I don't get enough exercise.

I love the quote images you post.

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AMANDACOETZER 1/30/2013 6:55AM

    Thanks. I love the motivational quotes that you put in your blogs!

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TINAJANE76 1/30/2013 6:49AM

    I absolutely understand what you mean! I exercise because it makes me feel good and helps me look better, but I know that winning my weight loss battle was primarily due to changing my dietary habits. I lost and regained large amounts of weight half a dozen times and this is the first time that I tracked my food almost all the time. It's made a huge difference and is something that I've continued to do even though I've been maintaining for almost a year. I don't have the natural ability to "eyeball" my food and my portions WILL creep if I'm not weighing and measuring them.

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GRUMBLEGIRL 1/30/2013 6:47AM

    Good discussion and so true. I know I need to start tracking regularly again. I also need to get out of my sleeping in funk. I need to workout in the morning before work and lately I've been choosing sleep instead. I have to buckle down and work on a better routine.

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SANDYCRANE 1/30/2013 6:27AM

    The timing of this blog is mind boggling. I was just talking to a fellow Spark member yesterday about this very same thing. I have been stuck at this weight since November. She suggested I should track my food, which I have not been doing. Thanks for this blog Pixie, I needed that.

emoticon emoticon

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THEBEV2 1/30/2013 6:14AM

    Wow. I'm 55 years old and I too have lost 71 lbs since last March. I am now stuck on a "plateau". We must be diet twins lol. I would like to lose another 20 lbs but the scale hasn't moved for a few weeks now. Thank you thank you for the wake up call. You are spot on. I'm with you girl - we can do this!! Hang in there and when I'm tempted to take "just a little more" I will pause and think of you.

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TRYINGHARD54 1/30/2013 5:40AM

    great blog.. so true..

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CAMAEL100 1/30/2013 5:16AM

    Yes, the small things add up!! But on the bright side, they add up in the other direction as well!!

You have done fantastic so far and you need to keep that in mind. Change it up a bit and you will get to your goal! You did it once, you can do it again!

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NCSUE0514 1/30/2013 5:02AM

    It's all about balance, and balance is hard to learn - but we are able to learn it!
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LRSILVER 1/30/2013 4:58AM

    Great blog. This is something I need to work on too.

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JULIA_211 1/30/2013 4:56AM

    Pixie, I can relate! I realized this myself not too long ago. Thank you for this blog post. I think we all do this at one time or another. emoticon Keep it going!

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NEWCHINELO 1/30/2013 4:54AM

    I am so guilty of this,thanks for sharing!

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SHERYLDS 1/30/2013 4:32AM

    But even eating healthy food can make you gain weight (or put you at a plateau) if you eat too much.

i can definitely relate to that statement. Good for you on recognizing what's holding you back from progress. WAY TO GO


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HOPE2BHEALTHY3 1/30/2013 3:28AM

    Thanks for a really thought-provoking post. Good for you for using your "denial" period to clarify your goals and determine your plan of action. Through a big failure I learned how important a period of introspection like this can be. Several years ago I lost 82 lbs with WW. The last 20 lbs were a real struggle : hungry all the time, the shakes, headaches, etc. How I wish now I would have gone into a maintenance phase at that time and done some body and mind realignment. Instead I forced myself to push forward. I did reach my goal, but...I immediately started gaining the weight back and now I have about 130lbs to lose to get back to that same goal. I will be smarter...like you were...next time.

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HOPE2BHEALTHY3 1/30/2013 3:28AM

    Thanks for a really thought-provoking post. Good for you for using your "denial" period to clarify your goals and determine your plan of action. Through a big failure I learned how important a period of introspection like this can be. Several years ago I lost 82 lbs with WW. The last 20 lbs were a real struggle : hungry all the time, the shakes, headaches, etc. How I wish now I would have gone into a maintenance phase at that time and done some body and mind realignment. Instead I forced myself to push forward. I did reach my goal, but...I immediately started gaining the weight back and now I have about 130lbs to lose to get back to that same goal. I will be smarter...like you were...next time.

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ZENRYAKU 1/30/2013 2:38AM

    Congratulations on your streak. emoticon

I find it tedious to measure all the time, so I have worked out weights and volumes for most of the food I eat so they are sort of like portions. The http://www.livelighter.com.au/the-f
acts/take-action/watch-your-por
tion-size.aspx page links to a fact sheet that provides portions for food types. I'm sort of enjoying having my rice in a 1/2 cup or 1 cup mould on my plate emoticon So much so I have been looking for other ways to present food to make it attractive.

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BARBARAROSE54 1/30/2013 1:46AM

    emoticon

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GOSPARK45 1/30/2013 12:21AM

    Right on! I track well, but will go back to measuring everything again to be sure I'm not lying to myself. Well put! It's so easy to slide a little here & there.
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CRAZYGYMGIRL 1/30/2013 12:09AM

    True.... oh so true. I know how easy it is to let things slip after being so careful for so long. But you've come clean with yourself before you did any real damage. A plateau isn't a gain. So now you know, you can move on to your ultimate goal.

Good luck. You are still a role model for me!!!

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SASSYTHING52 1/29/2013 11:49PM

    thank you for ur help i needed this emoticon

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YAFENELRA 1/29/2013 11:26PM

    All things I need to get back to doing.

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HEALTHYHAPPYDEB 1/29/2013 11:03PM

    emoticon WooHoo!!
I'm so happy for you Pixie that you had a breakthrough! You've been doing so well for so long try to just chalk this up to a lesson learned. "I'm not where I need to be but Thank God I'm not where I used to be. I'm o.k. and I'm on my way!" (Joyce Meyer)
emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/29/2013 11:04:40 PM

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SCOUTMOM715 1/29/2013 10:49PM

    Awesome blog! emoticon emoticon

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WVROSE1 1/29/2013 10:34PM

    Great blog! I can really relate to this one! Hang in there emoticon

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