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I've Been in Denial

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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Today is day 32 of my streak!

I am co-leader of a great team called Rootin' for Ruby. Today, one of the other leaders of the team (Healthyhappydeb) posted a discussion topic and she asked, "Do you think you could be in denial regarding any aspect of your issues with weight?"

My first instinct was to answer that question "no." But something made me pause. I took a moment to think that question over....and I realized that the answer was actually "yes." I have been in denial.

For weeks now....actually, MONTHS....I have been saying that I am at a plateau, and that I don't know why. But today, I really was honest with myself. No more denial. I know why I'm at a plateau. I haven't wanted to face it or admit it to myself. But I have been sabotaging myself.

Although I know how important it is to weigh and measure my food, I have not really been doing that with any regularity. Oh, I break out the food scale or the measuring cups & spoons every once in a while, but most of the time I just make "guess-timates." And I lie to myself. I say "Oh, that looks like a tablespoon of peanut butter", but in reality it is more like two tablespoons, or maybe even three. Or I say "That looks like a one cup serving" but deep down inside I know its a bit more.

I have lied to myself by saying "a little bit more won't matter in the long run." And that might be true, if the "little bit more" was just every once in a while. But its not. Its an every day occurrence. A little too much for breakfast...a little too much for lunch....a little too much for dinner. And it all adds up to a LOT too much.

Another way I have been sabotaging myself is that I have become lazy with tracking my food. I have been in denial about that, telling myself that I don't need to track my food, because I know how much I'm eating.

And the sad thing is, I know better. I KNOW I need to measure and weigh my food. I KNOW I need to track my meals. I exercise every day, but exercise is not a free pass to over eat. Sure, the food I eat is healthy food. I have eliminated junk food from my daily diet. But even eating healthy food can make you gain weight (or put you at a plateau) if you eat too much.

Its time for me to stop living in denial. I know what I want; I want to keep losing weight, I want to be healthy, I want to be fit and strong. And I know what I need to do in order to make it happen; I need to measure my portions, I need to track my food, and I need to stop lying to myself about how much I am eating.

I have lost 71 lbs since last March, so I'm a long way from where I started, but I still have a long way to go to get to where I want to be. And I will never get there if I don't start getting my nutrition in line. Starting today, I am going to do the things I know I need to do to get over this plateau.

Starting today, I will remember what my ultimate goal was when I started this journey last March, and that was to be as HEALTHY as I possibly can be.

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