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I Suffered from Delusions of Adequacy

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

On December 4, 2012 I weighed 280 pounds. Then the wheel in my brain continued to spin, but the hamster left for a Holiday vacation. SparkPeople a fountain of knowledge and some here drink from the fountain. Lately I have occasionally gargled. I let too many things get to me. I have been a gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

It is like I have 2 brain cells, 1 is lost and the other is out looking for it. If I were any more stupid, I'd have to be watered twice a week.

Since December 4, 2012 I reached rock-bottom and have been digging deeper. I have finally looked up and started to climb out.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • HELEN_BRU
    We all come undone at times. Just hang in there - we are here to catch you!!!! emoticon
    1331 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    Welcome to the club. many of us have fallen and then start climbing back up the hill. emoticon emoticon emoticon Keep rising upward this battle has it's ups and downs.
    1333 days ago
  • BOVEY63
    Keep on climbing upward!
    emoticon emoticon
    1333 days ago
  • PIPSANDMSMAMA79
    Don't be so hard on yourself emoticon You can do it. Believe in yourself emoticon
    1333 days ago
  • KAYATLANTA2010
    Marty, your SparkFriends are here for you on this journey. Remember that you are not alone, and many of us are "starting again." As long as we keep moving forward, we'll be ok, and we'll keep getting better at taking care of ourselves. I'm working on being more consistent in exercising and eating food that is actually good for me.

    All of this to say, I'm here with you.

    emoticon Kay
    1335 days ago
  • CAMAEL100
    My simple belief is that when you are feeling bad about past choices I make the simple decision to:

    Start where I am now!!! I can't control the past but I can change what I do today to help change my future.

    I too spent a few weeks over Christmas making bad choices, thinking it would all be ok and it would only be a few pounds that would be easy take off!! I too was cross with myself after. But that was getting me no-where only making me feel like eating again!!

    Start today on a new page!! emoticon

    1335 days ago
  • KAYDE53
    We're all here rooting you on!! One foot in front of the other!! emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • DARLY55
    Come on Marty, get the momentum going in the right direction. We are all with you - in the same huge boat! Walk with us, swim with us, whatever you choose - just hang in there, you can do it! The first couple of steps are the hardest. emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • IRISHSUNSETS
    Keep climbing and don't look back. We all slip and fall, and many of us have started over more times that we can count. You are stronger than you think - because you recognized that you bottomed out - and yet, you decided you deserved better and started the climb. A heartbeat at a time. You have all of us here for support.
    1336 days ago
  • JACKIE542
    Come on you can do this, we are with you. emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • DOODIE59
    This journey is a dance -- two steps forward, one back, some to the side ... As long as you don't quit, you are on the path to better health. You can do this!
    Deirdre
    1336 days ago
  • SPUNKYDUCKY
    The road ahead is just one step at a time...great that you climbed out of the hole - keep headed in that direction
    1336 days ago
  • BELLAMEMAW
    Stop, take a deep breath and give yourself a hug. You can dig you're way out. Take the time to write out a plan for yourself; even if it's for just one day.

    Take stock of your habits. Replace the bad habits with good ones. It works, it really does. emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    It is a hard journey but we are on it with you. Hang in there and take it one minute at a time, one day at a time. Just keep coming back to this great fountain of people who are here to cheer you on! emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • FROSTY99
    It is one day at a time-I have been at this for 4 years-not moving fast, but slowly making headway.
    emoticon emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • DONNABRIGHT
    I hear you and I'm climbing with you!
    1336 days ago
  • BLUEANGELLK
    I know you can do it.
    1336 days ago
  • WISEDUP1
    Each day is a new day!
    You can do it!
    1336 days ago
  • CRYSTALJEM
    That's all you can do, at least you know the path, you know how to get there and what you need to do. And we'll be here to support you.
    1336 days ago
  • KJDINSC
    Hang in there, Marty... you can do it. One day at a time. --KJD

    1336 days ago
  • LAURAAT
    emoticon You've looked up and are climbing out. Awesome to hear! I know you can do this if you put your mind to it. Lost brain cell or no! Start out slow, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. And spark, spark, spark!!
    1336 days ago
  • AKELAZ
    Start slow and keep plodding on - don't look to left or right and ignore any slips - they always happen and shouldn't be allowed any importance. Remember planned treats are not the same as slips and you need some fun too. I started again this year pretty well from where I was when I joined Spark. It's not going too badly - it CAN be done.

    Loadsa BIG emoticon

    1336 days ago
  • ARCHIMEDESII
    Nah, you're human. We're all experts at having gained, lost and regained the weight over the years. However, at some point, we all have an "ah ha" moment. That's when we decide that things need to change. This sounds like your ah ha moment.

    You can't change the past, but you can influence and change the future. Take baby steps literally and figuratively.

    emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • POPSY190
    Weight loss takes a lot of time and effort and a holiday from it all is a good thing at times. But once the holiday is over it's time to get back to work! emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • DEBBIEANNE1124
    emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • CHUBRUB3
    You can do this Marty.
    You have so many reasons that you NEED to do this.
    I and so many of your spark friends are here for you.
    We believe in you.
    Now you believe in yourself.
    Hugs,
    Angela
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • KITTY_M
    Starting again can be really hard. I'm there myself. But we can do it!
    1336 days ago
  • VICKI-BISHOP56
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1336 days ago
  • CELESTE_B
    that hardest thing is getting back on the horse! Come on! You know you can do this...stop berating yourself and brush you butt off and get back on.

    Big hug!
    1336 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    I am sure some people will come in here and tell you the tough talking yourself is counter productive.

    Sometimes it is.
    Sometimes it isn't.

    I tough talk myself, just make sure it doesn't become being flat out horrible to yourself... thats the point it becomes a bad thing.

    If you need any ropes of ideas for helping yourself out your hole, stop by my page, or send me a PM. Im happy to help.
    1336 days ago
  • IGSBETH
    Pick yourself up and start sparking again. Only way to do it. I'm working on it too.
    1336 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.