30,000-39,999 SparkPoints 38,986

Why now?

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Chubby. That's how it started. I was a baby with "chubby little legs." As I got older, it was "baby fat." Then it was just plain fat.
My weight went up and down all through my teenage and adult years. I'm 42 now as I write this, and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. Getting close to that 300 mark. That is terrifying. Once upon a time, I thought if I ever got up to 200 pounds, that would be the worst that could possibly happen. Today, I'd jump up and down with joy if I was only 200 pounds.
So there have been plenty of times that I've tried to lose weight. I never stick with it. I'm great when I start -- motivated, excited. Then over time, my interest dwindles and I think, just one cheeseburger. Just one coke. Just one Chick-Fil-A run. Before I know it, I'm eating 3,000 calories a day and not giving a damn again. So what's different this time?

I don't know. Maybe nothing. Today, I feel great. I feel excited. I feel ready for a change. Will I feel that way next week? next month? next year? I have no idea. I hope so. What I'm trying to learn is that even if I'm not motivated every day, that doesn't mean it's all over. Small goals. Small triumphs. It's OK to indulge sometimes.

I don't want to be the Fat Mom. I don't want my kids to be embarrassed when the other kids are making fun of their fat mom.

I want to be healthy. I want to set a good example for my kids. I want to feel energetic. I want to be able to find cute clothes that fit. I want to be here to watch my kids graduate from college, get married, and have babies of their own. I want to be pleasantly surprised when I catch myself in the mirror, instead of thinking "Who is that heavy woman? Oh God, it's me."

I have PCOS, and I know from experience that my PCOS symptoms disappear when I do a low carb eating plan. I've heard good things about Spark so I hope that for once, I can stick with it.

Why now? Why not? It's time.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can so relate to the starting over (and over again) cycle. Motivated and ready to change at first - but then you lose momentum and and the desire for comfort food begins to overtake the desire to change. Temporarily anyway. Until you start again. I have to talk myself into just thinking one day at a time - put each day behind you when it's over and begin again. :)
    1722 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/2/2013 9:11:52 PM
    So glad you have made the decision and joined Spark! It really made all the difference for me in my journey.

    Thanks for sharing!


    Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
    Melinda (gopintos)
    SP Class of January 27- February 2, 2013
    Perfect Health Diet Team
    Country Living Team
    Dr Oz Show Fans Team
    Wheat Belly Team

    1753 days ago
    Let's go girl!!! We can do this together with emails (at work LOL) and Facebook we can do this! Love ya!
    1753 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/30/2013 9:59:19 AM
  • ADZY86
    Great first blog. Spark is AMAZING! It's the best site I have ever come across. Message out on the boards if ever you need advice, motivation, or just to boast about a success. Hope to see you around on the low carb pages. emoticon
    1753 days ago
    thank you all for your words of encouragement!
    1754 days ago
    Blog and post every day if you can. It's the best thing Spark has to offer - a whole site full of cheerleaders!
    1754 days ago
    Good Luck emoticon
    1754 days ago
    Thank you!!!
    1754 days ago
  • KIMBERLY19732
    1754 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.