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    TRIXIETEXAS   26,833
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Why now?


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Chubby. That's how it started. I was a baby with "chubby little legs." As I got older, it was "baby fat." Then it was just plain fat.
My weight went up and down all through my teenage and adult years. I'm 42 now as I write this, and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. Getting close to that 300 mark. That is terrifying. Once upon a time, I thought if I ever got up to 200 pounds, that would be the worst that could possibly happen. Today, I'd jump up and down with joy if I was only 200 pounds.
So there have been plenty of times that I've tried to lose weight. I never stick with it. I'm great when I start -- motivated, excited. Then over time, my interest dwindles and I think, just one cheeseburger. Just one coke. Just one Chick-Fil-A run. Before I know it, I'm eating 3,000 calories a day and not giving a damn again. So what's different this time?

I don't know. Maybe nothing. Today, I feel great. I feel excited. I feel ready for a change. Will I feel that way next week? next month? next year? I have no idea. I hope so. What I'm trying to learn is that even if I'm not motivated every day, that doesn't mean it's all over. Small goals. Small triumphs. It's OK to indulge sometimes.

I don't want to be the Fat Mom. I don't want my kids to be embarrassed when the other kids are making fun of their fat mom.

I want to be healthy. I want to set a good example for my kids. I want to feel energetic. I want to be able to find cute clothes that fit. I want to be here to watch my kids graduate from college, get married, and have babies of their own. I want to be pleasantly surprised when I catch myself in the mirror, instead of thinking "Who is that heavy woman? Oh God, it's me."

I have PCOS, and I know from experience that my PCOS symptoms disappear when I do a low carb eating plan. I've heard good things about Spark so I hope that for once, I can stick with it.

Why now? Why not? It's time.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
-THEGOODGIRL- 3/2/2013 9:11PM

    I can so relate to the starting over (and over again) cycle. Motivated and ready to change at first - but then you lose momentum and and the desire for comfort food begins to overtake the desire to change. Temporarily anyway. Until you start again. I have to talk myself into just thinking one day at a time - put each day behind you when it's over and begin again. :)

Comment edited on: 3/2/2013 9:11:52 PM

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GOPINTOS 1/30/2013 2:19PM

    So glad you have made the decision and joined Spark! It really made all the difference for me in my journey.

Thanks for sharing!

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Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
Melinda (gopintos)
SP Class of January 27- February 2, 2013
Perfect Health Diet Team
Country Living Team
Dr Oz Show Fans Team
Wheat Belly Team


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PATECLIVER 1/30/2013 9:58AM

  Let's go girl!!! We can do this together with emails (at work LOL) and Facebook we can do this! Love ya!

Comment edited on: 1/30/2013 9:59:19 AM

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ADZY86 1/30/2013 7:07AM

    Great first blog. Spark is AMAZING! It's the best site I have ever come across. Message out on the boards if ever you need advice, motivation, or just to boast about a success. Hope to see you around on the low carb pages. emoticon

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TRIXIETEXAS 1/29/2013 10:21PM

    thank you all for your words of encouragement!

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WOUBBIE 1/29/2013 7:13PM

    Blog and post every day if you can. It's the best thing Spark has to offer - a whole site full of cheerleaders!

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LIIFEIISABEACH 1/29/2013 12:02PM

    Good Luck emoticon

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TRIXIETEXAS 1/29/2013 11:58AM

    Thank you!!!

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KIMBERLY19732 1/29/2013 11:23AM

    Welcome!

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