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To the girl I left behind...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

It's ok to never be you again. I have accepted that you existed in a time when my life was not my own. My life belonged to everyone else and my body was a twisted reflection of trying to look the part. You got a lot of attention, sometimes you braved being the life of the party but you always knew the truth. You knew that getting that body where it was, was a slippery slope of everything destructive just to look good. And although those habits can't exist today, it is ok that they did then. I forgive you. I forgive myself for being selfish and always wanting a quick fix. Because back then quick fixes bore confidence, even if it was false- it was there.

So know that I accept who you were and why you chose to be that way but you have to stay there. You have to stay in those pictures because even if I venture to be that size again it will be a process. It will be the culmination of lots of small steps on this greater journey of being healthy. So to you girl I left behind, other part of my past self, I release you and the hold you had on me. It's just time to let go.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ASTRA58 1/29/2013 10:25AM

    Your post really brought it home to me that I need to forgive the girl I was in my twenties. I was skinny and bulimic and desperately trying to be perfect and liked by everyone, but feeling so lonely and alone, even in a crowd. It's time I let her stay in my past, too.

Thank you for this.


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SAMMI4444 1/29/2013 9:52AM

    Glad you're turning things around! Keep it up!

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READY2LIVE85 1/29/2013 9:49AM

    The first three sentences could have been written by me, too. I applaude your honesty and courage.

Sending you lots of energy for your journey. You are so worth it!!! emoticon

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