Tuesday, January 29, 2013
So, as it is with many people in January, I am taking on my weight-loss challenge once again. It has seemed that anytime I begin something like this, I get discouraged, or something happens to make me want to give up my momentum. I really want to change that about myself.
I have been exercising since mid-December, trying to start a new routine for exercising, and using discipline in both continuing the exercise, and disciplining my food. I know I am a very healthy person, BUT I have a difficult time restraining myself when I eat, and don't like to exercise. (really I don't) A lot of my dislike of exercise, has to do with me feeling inadequate and being teased by kids back in grade school. Kids can be very mean. And it has been something that has psychologically held me back from being a "better" more physically fit me. I want to be fit. I don't want to feel guilty that I'm not a size/weight that I can be pleased by. That I feel guilty after eating certain things, (making the negative comments from 15 years ago, circle through my head) feeling more demoralized each time.
I know that eating things, comfort foods, fruit veggies, meat, etc. All of these are acceptable, BUT I have been learning that portion sizes and understanding how much your body needs, versus how much the body can eat, or how much I want.
So, I started with the type of exercises that I felt I could do for a full month, to start. So, I have started by doing yoga for about 30 minutes a day. There is actually yoga on broadcast TV every day of the week in 30 min segments from 430am-6am. Yoga is an exercise that each person does mostly at their own pace. I am so glad for that! It has really helped with my flexibility and my feelings of confidence in myself to doing exercise, and working out in a regular way.
A few weeks ago, Josh and I were at Nordstrom Rack (he got a gift card for his birthday) and we were busy picking out some clothes for him to try on. However, nothing fit him the right way, and he decided he needed to get back into better shape so that he could fit into the sizes he wanted to. This summer he injured his back (herniated disk) and he has been in recovery and not doing much exercise in the last 6 months. I had an ectopic pregnancy, where I almost died, and they had to cut my abdomen all the way open this fall. Up to that point, I had begun exercising regularly and enjoying it! however, after having major surgery, I took my time in recovery, and had lots of comfort food from those around me, who loved and cared for Josh and I through that time.
Mid-way through December I decided I was healthy enough (I felt) to return to, or begin again, my clean eating and exercising habits. A few weeks ago, my husband decided he wanted to lose weight, which is really encouraging for me, and helpful in my own trek. I already had his moral support (because he is the best husband ever) and he doesn't care that i've been overweight, but now, I have a partner as well. We won't be doing the same workouts, exactly, or the same intensity, but adding MORE activity, especially on the weekends when we are together. We also have decided to walk 2 weeknights, and a nice walk on Saturdays, because we weren't' doing that before. In mid-December all I tried to do was START exercising, and to START thinking about better eating (which, for me and for Josh, just means eating less in general, and not having dessert every night). In January, I started tracking my food, workouts and walking, and weight. Back before I started exercising in August, I peaked at 201 pounds. (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and when I re-started I was about the same. After almost a month of consistent meal discipline ( and no, I'm NOT hungry all the time, and I do have snacks one between breakfast/lunch and the other between lunch/dinner) and discipline doing the exercise, and really trying to challenge myself ( yoga IS challenging) and the walking with josh, I really look forward to those times with him. To date: i have lost 7 pounds! From 201-194! I am so proud of myself, and honestly, it has taken EFFORT and hard work, discipline, and some weeks when I weighed myself, I didn't see the scale move at all. How frustrating! But, overall, I am losing weight. And this is important to me, to be healthy for myself, for my future kids, and for Josh. Mostly, it's for me. But, either way, I'm happy with my current success.