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Monday, January 28, 2013

Forgiveness is a really, REALLY tough thing to understand sometimes. There is usually a negative "something" attached to it. Someone had to do something wrong in order to need forgiveness.......

Sometimes forgiving someone is easy. They prove to you that they are remorseful, or they promise you changes, or they show you that they are sorry. There are many reasons why forgiveness is in order.

Then there are those times when forgiveness is necessary for YOU. What if we have to forgive someone who has wronged us that isn't necessarily remorseful. Or they did something so horrendous, but in order for you to move past it, you must forgive them? What a difficult concept.

Forgiveness is for YOU not for the person whom you are forgiving. And that is a tough thing to understand sometimes.

But forgiving YOURSELF for something YOU have done??? Wow. That's a whole 'nother level of difficult......

Several years ago, I betrayed my husband. I didn't have this "sordid affair" or anything, but I did have a "connection" with someone else. This was not an ongoing thing by any means, but people got hurt.

We had many things going on at the time and this did NOT help. Needless to say, we struggled through it. He has forgiven me, but it is something that plagues me EVERYDAY. I have literally been to confession about it and have prayed about it often. It's just something that I think about a lot. I put myself in my husband's shoes and I just die inside to think about the hurt that he went through. I can't imagine why I thought it was ok to hurt him like that. What kind of person am I?

I have changed sooooo much since that happened. Not only in that aspect, but in a ton of ways. I am a good person. I am doing good things. I have plenty of room for improvement, but I am definitely heading in the right direction!

It's time. It's time to let it go. God has forgiven me. My husband has forgiven me.

I am sorry.

I am forgiven.
(With God's help.)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    We certainly learn from our mistakes don't we? I'm glad you are able to place yourself in your husband's shoes and see things from his perspective. Not everyone thinks of the other person. I'm sure the experience has made you stronger and wiser and has helped you and your husband to "eventually" to have grown closer.
    You are a special person and it took guts to share!

    1848 days ago
    Yup you have to let go of the guilt we all make mistakes.

    emoticon emoticon
    1850 days ago
    Chrissy, I got goosebumps reading this. Heartfelt. You are strong and you are growing so much on the inside while shrinking on the outside! Nice work.
    1851 days ago
  • 4CYNDI
    **HUGS** I hope you truly can forgive yourself for the mistake. It's hard, but since everyone else affected has forgiven you it's time to put it to rest. Learn what you can from it, then put it aside and enjoy your life. You deserve to.
    1851 days ago
    Forgiveness is one of my favorite topics. Here is something I wrote about it years ago:
    "Forgiving sets you apart from the mundane world. It’s a spiritual endeavor and an act of consecration. Forgiveness awakens the divinity within you and consecrates you for good. Forgiveness is a path of progression—of becoming the person who you were born to be." I think what I wrote is truly your experience too! Love you girl!! You are amazing!!

    Here are a few of my favorite forgiveness quotes:

    "As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the in being able to remake ourselves." Gandhi

    “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Gandhi

    Lewis B. Smedes said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”


    1851 days ago
    1852 days ago
    Like you said... God has forgiven, your husband has is time to let go!
    1852 days ago
    well said...
    1852 days ago
    Takes a lot of guts to let go of that guilt, that burden you've been carrying around for too long. Kudos, Chrissy.
    1852 days ago
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