BLC21: Back to the Future
Monday, January 28, 2013
I am still gunning for a blackout for the weekend challenge, with just under three hours to go. Between work and the kids and the fact that I had to spend my Saturday night this weekend at a ball, I haven't had a ton of time to do some of the one-off stuff (i.e. stuff that is not food or fitness related). So let's see how much I can accomplish in one blog post :)
1. 30 minutes of uninterrupted "you" time is a laughable concept to me. I can't even use the bathroom without someone else coming in. I went for a run this morning and am hoping that counts.
2. I don't really have anything I feel the need to forgive myself for. I have some shame surrounding past events, but forgiveness came a long time ago. Instead, I decided to begin the process of forgiving my mom for walking out on us on Christmas Eve a million years ago. I know that I am a grown woman with kids of my own and should not keep holding a grudge over something that happened more than 20 years ago, but she has never apologized or asked for forgiveness. I have decided that being an adult means forgiving anyway. And I'm feeling pretty okay about it. Perhaps this deserves its own blog post but it ain't going to happen today.
3. What did I do that I put off in the past? Several things, but most importantly I *really* cleaned the upstairs bathroom. It was gross. It's not done, but it's much cleaner than it was. (I tend to just clean the toilet, sink and tub regularly. Our walls and higher cabinet shelves desperately needed to be cleaned. Dustier than you can possibly imagine.)
4. I cleaned off the family room table. It was where we ate dinner until our son was 4 or 5 months old, but has been accumulating stuff for four years, being periodically cleared off and then becoming a dumping ground again. My daughter is moving from the nursery to what is now the office (the nursery is tiny and she is 2.5), so we're moving the office downstairs to the family room. I am excited about this, because I think it will reduce our family room clutter issues. But to get the whole thing started, we needed to clear the table (and also the desk, but we need to hang the shelves and bring the file cabinets downstairs to be able to clear that off). So I feel like we accomplished something. Next step will be bringing the office equipment downstairs.
5. How will my life change when I reach my goal? How will I feel? Well, it hasn't been that long since I was at my goal, so I have a good sense of what life is like at 140. I tried to set my goal for something realistic, so I went for what was my most comfortable/easy to maintain but still very healthy weight, which I last was before getting pregnant with my son in 2007, rather than my lowest adult weight (125), which I last was 10 years ago.
I feel like I've made much progress toward my goal (down 47 pounds with 20-22 to go) and am in so much better shape than I was. At this point, I'm quite healthy (my doctor actually said so, both recently and when I was a decent way into obesity), so most of my motivation is vanity. I feel like what I'm looking forward to now is continuing to get my confidence back. When I reach my goal, I will feel comfortable in my skin no matter what I am wearing. Right now, I still feel self-conscious a lot of the time. But I will be done feeling that way when I reach my goal.
On a fitness note, when I reach my goal, I will set out for runs with no sense of fear or dread but only the promise of the exhilaration to come. And I will be able to complete each Insanity disc without extra breaks or modifications :)
On a practical note, when I reach my goal, I will not wear out the inner thighs of all my pants! And I will fit back into the clothes in the attic and will be thrilled to be able to wear all my (now old) suits again.