I wonder. What kind of new things will I do? Time will tell. Will I return to activities I liked in the past? Maybe. Will I become a runner? Possibly.
This assignment is difficult for me. I have really never been thin or what I would call healthy so I don't have a frame of reference. I do know that when I was younger, I loved to roller skate and I rode my bike. Those are things I would like to do again.
What I do know is that I want to be able to fit into any seat without my rear spilling over the sides or being smashed painfully in the seat. I want to be able to go on rides at amusement parks and airplanes without having to use an extender. Those are things I know will change when I lose the weight. Those things will happen.
I know that my thighs won't rub together. The flying squirrels will lose their ablility to fly and attack. Okay I am really looking forward to that. The globulous will be gone and not hanging in the way. I will be able to see my feet any time I look down.
I will be able to ride a bike and not have the seat kill my butt. I will be able to get out and hike and walk without problems. Okay so I don't know if that is something I will want to do but I know I will be able to do it if I choose to do it.
As the weight comes off, I will be able to go into stores and by regular sized clothes off the rack. I will be able to buy fashionable clothes instead of clothes that seem to be made for older women. Okay I know that there are stores out there that sell more fashionable clothes for plus-sized women but honey, let's be honest, they are few and far between for those of us that live in a small town in the middle of no where. Okay and let's not forget that the price is at least 3 times more for those clothes. Oh yes, I know that there are online options but I don't know about anyone else, but I have to try things on and I don't like to order and then return things all the time.
Okay back to how my life will change when I lose the weight.
I won't have to use a cpap machine. I won't have to take medicines for illnesses (except the thyroid hormone) I will be able to take the stairs and not have to stop several times to catch my breath. I will be able to get in and out of cars with ease. I will be able to run and play with Marlie and not be gasping for air and telling her to wait for grandma. I won't have the constant swelling in my feet, legs and hands. Woo hoo - I am so looking forward to that.
Things that I hope will change as I lose the weight -
Okay my hubby isn't a terrible person. Most of what I am about to say is just my feelings that I have projected on him. Please don't blast me about my hubby. I am not going to go into all the explanation of why he isn't a great communicator, or that he doesn't understand what it is like, or that his family...well you get the picture. If you are about to leave a comment that he isn't worthy of me or that he is a a loser, DON'T! That isn't the case and since no one here really knows him (except my mom and daughter), there should be no reason to comment. Any negative comments about my husband will be deleted! Thanks
I want my husband to look at me and actually say "wow you look great" or "you look sexy" and not just "that's okay or pretty good". I want to go out on the town to nice dinners and the movies without having to worry about what type of chairs or tables they have. I want to feel like he is proud to have me on his arm.
I hope to have more confidence in myself. I want to walk tall and confident. I won't be worrying about what everyone else is thinking or saying about me. I won't even care. I want to be able to work again and be confident in my abilities. I hope to be able to wear all kinds of sexy strappy shoes. Okay, I know some of you may not understand that one but I haven't worn heels in FOREVER!
I hope to finally look at myself and see the person that I know is inside.