Monday, January 28, 2013
I can control you. You can control me. You can be a stranger. You can be a good friend or family too. Did you know we have this impact on each other? I’m sure you do, at least to some extent. It took well into adulthood before I knew.
Clerks and others did not treat me very well. Once I asked a friend what to do about it. I assumed I would get some sympathy about ‘those’ people. Instead, she told me that nine times out of ten, it was my fault. Well, that isn’t exactly how she put it. That’s how I took it.
What she meant is that when I approached people expecting bad service or expecting to be ignored, that is exactly what I would get. “The world is a mirror.” my more evolved husband says.
Your mood impacts others. That is where the expression, “You can catch more flies with honey…” comes from. If you approach someone yelling and screaming, guess how they are going to reply? Ok, well you knew that. It also applies to more subtle dispositions. If you are friendly and upbeat, you will get it back. This concept is called mirroring. My husband didn’t even study communications or psychology and he knew that!
Do some field experiments at your local mall and see mirroring in its natural habitat. You might notice that people engaged in conversation often hold similar poses. They mimic each other’s gestures, facial expressions, and word choice too. They do it subconsciously.
Now, when I encounter the gruff individual that doesn’t respond to a smiley face, I know for sure, it’s them, not me. There are some people that refuse to engage in positive behaviors. Oh well, their loss. Now, I know better.
That is the big lesson I’ve learned that I wish I knew when I was younger. I wish I had spent more of my life with a happy expression than with a sour puss. Then, I would have seen a lot less sour pusses in return.