Monday, January 28, 2013
I was sucked into the vortex of random acts of eating over the past few weeks. I could feel the pull to the dark side and was able to fight it off & then I let go. Clearly this is something I need to dig deeper into. I need to figure out the pull and the release. I can tell ya, it's not always an emotional reaction to something. THEN, sometimes it is. Funny how life works!
I crashed & burned the other day after the Mr was physically threatened at work. I ate after the call came in. I ate after my ST session. I ate after coming back from the police station. In general, I ate. Talk about a reaction!
I also slept A LOT this past weekend. I was exhausted so I took the time and slept. When I eat like this I get a high from it and then I crash. It's quit the ride let me tell ya.
I'm not sure I need to return to therapy - the one on one kind - to explore these urges and splurges but I do need to find a different outlet. I was asked the other day if I have a hobby. *CRINGE* Hmmm, a hobby?! Does playing scrabble, cooking, cleaning, working and playing with my furballs count? Ya, didn't think so but thought I'd try.
It's time for me to find a hobby. I used to spend HOURS at the gym. I used to paint for HOURS on end. I used to do a lot of things for a lot of hours. I need to find something that gets me out of my head and into a healthier place - physically and mentally. I need to escape to a place that doesn't involve food. MAYBE I'll try running again. I need an activity that can replace the eating episodes ... exchange one behavior for another. *THINK.THINK.THINK*
In other news:
I registered for the 5K in March! It's gonna be an overnight trip for me & my fitness friend. We are super excited.
The ST sessions I've setup three days a week are going very well.
The latest squat regimen is getting easier. Sunday I did 220 squats. I average 160 a day during the week. I'm hoping my quads will stop screaming at me this week.
I'm setting up a reward system for myself. I haven't previously done this so I'm looking forward to it.