Well, I had to do it.
I had to change my ticker at the bottom of my Spark page, because once again I am absolutely obsessing about what the scale says.
I told my husband to hide it the other day, but it didn't stop me from using my mom's scale upstairs (sneaky I know!)
I just got done with a 10 minute walk/run alternating jog and i kept thinking- if objects could talk: my TREADMILL would be so proud of me! I know I am proud of me, I know my husband is proud of me...but the scale, it's like its out to trick me.
Or maybe it is just the reminder I need that I may be doing great at fitness, but I need to get my diet in check. I got too laxed about overall junk food consumption- 3,500 calories in a pound sneaks up on you when you are eating high calorie foods.
I also believe that it may be lack of water. So I am going to be more strict about tracking that- maybe even making it a streak, because when my 10 minutes of exercise were a streak I stuck to it and now its normal.
Good news in that aspect actually: my husband had a doctors appt. today about his diabetes which he has been on and off again managing. The doctor gave him his normal "you shoulds-" which we were expecting. This inspired my husband to decide that we could go back to what we used to make for dinners back when his blood sugars were awesome.
This is a huge relief off my shoulders. I was SO determined to save money on all groceries when we moved in with my mom I have been stressed beyond belief that they are just winging that important meal even when I've offered to shop and cook for them. My husband reasoned with me. He said if they don't want to change their eating habits they won't. We are still saving money because they buy plenty of breakfast and lunch items, and if we just take over our dinners again we both get to track something we are proud of eating and our grocery bill WILL be cheaper and saving us money because we will only be shopping for one meal.
That's why I love him- he's logical. I'm not.
So only 2 more weeks of "winging it" before we re-budget in the price of healthy, good, wholesome dinner foods.
In the meantime, I need to stop beating myself up about the numbers on the scale. Even repeating "I am more than a number on a scale" doesn't work sometimes. I keep asking myself if I think that when and if the scale reads the magic number (whatever that is) will that stop my obsessing? And I know the answer is "no" this is a mental problem. It's in my head and the thoughts are only triggered by a number, not necessarily fully caused by a number.
I did find another picture that I might try to use to cheer me up.
Now I just need to take some time and reflect on what does define me.