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I GIVE UP!

Monday, January 28, 2013

AS MANY OF YOU KNOW, I HAVE SPENT THE LAST SEVERAL WEEKS ATTEMPTING TO DO SOME TAXES. I GOT THE ONES FOR MY MIL DONE - EASY PEASY. FOR DH AND I, A LITTLE MORE DIFFICULT WITH ALL THE VARIOUS CANCER TREATMENTS AND WHO PAID WHAT. BUT THEN HE BROUGHT HOME THE DREADED BOXES OF "PAPERWORK" FROM HIS BUSINESS.

I HAVE BEEN DOING HIS BUSINESS TAXES NOW, FOR ABOUT 15 YEARS. WHO DID IT BEFORE ME? HE HAD A COMPTROLLER AT HIS COMPANY THAT KEPT AN EYE ON EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED ON A DAILY BASIS. HE DIDN'T EVEN LET DH GO HOME FOR THE EVENING WITHOUT ASKING HIM TO CHECK HIS POCKETS FOR RECEIPTS. I THINK THAT MAN MAY HAVE BEEN SENT DIRECTLY FROM GOD. AND HE ENDURED DH'S POOR RECORD KEEPING FOR OVER 20 YEARS. THAT ALONE SHOULD EARN HIM A SPOT DIRECTLY AT THE FEET OF THE LORD HIMSELF. WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? DH DOWNSIZED AND LET HIM GO! OF ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT HE COULD HAVE DOWNSIZED, WHY HIM? HE WAS SO CRUCIAL TO THE SMOOTH RUNNING OF THE BUSINESS.

SO, SINCE I AM AS OCD AS HIS COMPTROLLER WAS, HE JUST DECIDED THAT THIS TASK SHOULD NOW FALL UPON MY EVER LABOR-TASKED SHOULDERS. AS I WAS RECOVERING FROM OPEN HEART SURGERY AT THE TIME, I AM USING THE EXCUSE THAT I WAS ON DRUGS AS THE ONLY POSSIBLE REASON TO PUT MYSELF THROUGH THIS TORTURE OF THE DAMNED. YES! HE IS A HOARDER! BUT, AS HE HAS AGED,THOUGH I DID NOT BELIEVE IT POSSIBLE, HE HAS GOTTEN WORSE.

HE BROUGHT HOME HIS USUAL 4 BOXES OF "PAPERS". RIGHT! WE HAD ALL THE CUSTOMARY PAPERS ASSOCIATED WITH A BUSINESS. AND THEN THERE WERE THE RECEIPTS. THESE CAN BE WRITTEN ON ANYTHING OR ATTACHED TO ANYTHING. WE HAD SOME ON RESTAURANT NAPKINS, SOME ON THE INSIDE OF BIG MAC CONTAINERS, SOME ON KLEENEX , GREEN BAR PRINTER PAPER SCRAPS, AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE - TOILET PAPER. DO YOU EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT THERE WERE TWO GUYS IN THE MEN'S ROOM AND ONE OF THEM IS WRITING OUT THE OTHER A RECEIPT FOR SOMETHING PURCHASED? QUITE FRANKLY, THAT SCARED THE TAR OUT OF ME. BUT ORGANIZE IT, I DID. BUT THE WORSE WAS YET TO COME.

I NOW HAD TO SIT DOWN AND READ EVERY BLESSED PAGE OF NEW TAX INFORMATION THAT OUR ESTEEMED GOVERNMENT HAS CHOSED TO BESTOW UPON US. I HIGHLIGHTED SECTIONS I DID NOT UNDERSTAND. I WOULD THEN CALL THE IRS FOR AN EXPLANATION. AFTER CALL NUMBER 23, I WAS ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH THREE OF THE DIFFERENT REPS THAT THEY HAVE FOR OUR DISTRICT.

SO AFTER TTHAT 23RD CALL TO THE IRS OFFICE, I FINALLY TOOK THEIR ADVICE. I VERY NEATLY GATHERED ALL THE INFORMATION I HAD SORTED THROUGH, PACKAGED IT ACCORDING TO MONTH, NEATLY STACKED IT ALL BACK IN THE BOXES, AND TOOK IT TOO THE MAN THAT DH HAD DOWNSIZED. HE WAS VERY GRACIOUS BUT WOULD NOT DO THIS FOR FREE. OF COURSE NOT! JUST, PLEASE GOD! LET HIM DO IT! I DON'T CARE WHAT IT COSTS! BUT MERCY ME - DH SURE DID! AND GUESS WHAT? HE FIRED ME! HE FIRED HIS OWN WIFE!

AM I DOING THE HAPPY DANCE NOW? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! I AM ROCKIN' OUT TO THE MERRY SONGS IN MY HEAD. BUT! EVERY NIGHT, WHEN I TRY TO SLEEP, NUMBERS ARE RUNNING THREW MY BRAIN; ALONG WITH THE NEW TAX LAWS AND I AM JUST SO VERY GRATEFUL THAT I WILL NOT BE SPENDING THE REST OF MY LIFE IN PRISON FOR MESSING THIS THING UP. I DO NOT LOOK GOOD IN ORANGE, NOR DO I WANT SOME BIG "HOOCHIE MAMA" ASKING ME TO BE HER BIT$%. SO YES! I HAVE GIVEN UP AND I WILL NEVER GO THERE AGAIN. HOMEY DOESN'T LIVE THERE ANYMORE!

ERIN
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERYLL1949 1/30/2013 12:35AM

    Gosh,I don't blame you. emoticon You did the right thing!!

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MILLISMA 1/28/2013 9:33PM

    You've made the right choice. Good for you. Thankful that this gentleman was still around to do this. Now you can take a breather!

hugs....Mary Anne

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BELDONDOG1 1/28/2013 8:35PM

    Erin, I never thought I would ever congratulate someone on being fired! But congrats! You did all you could do, as usual. I bet you never got a "thank you" for all the years you did the taxes for him. Do women wear orange in prison too? lol Hey, it may have been better than doing his taxes. lol You know I'm kidding--but you go girl, live your own life for a change! (hugs) Noel

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RURAL3 1/28/2013 1:31PM

    You are certainly brave taking on this task in the first place. And I agree you must have been on drugs. Good move giving it up. We don't think you look good in orange. Hope DH learned a lesson in the priorities of downsizing. But I think he probably didn't. He sure does give you lots of writing material though but also lots of frustration. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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